I wish...

A few days ago, as I was doing my yoga class in the evening, I got a few calls on my cell phone. All of them were from the same person! And there were so many that I thought something desperate had happened. My phone had been on silent mode through the class... and I simply had to call back and find out what had happened!?

This friend of mine is a deeply religious person with a sense of being somewhat deeply spiritual, too. I do not say this lightly- because being religious is certainly not equal to being spiritual any more than being in love is equal to being loved!!

She replied to the first trrrring- Hi! Light a lamp in your temple and ask for a wish. Do it BEFORE 8 o'clock. It will come true. Only five minutes left- OK- Bye!

That was cool!

Light a lamp in your temple and ask for any wish!

I rushed to light a lamp- a thousand thoughts racing through my head.

I put the lit lamp in my temple. And I stood there- a couple of minutes still to go. And I thought. And i thought. And I thought.

What could I wish for?

I have a wonderful family- a husband who loves me and is fit as a fiddle, kids who adore me and think I am God incarnate. That I can make anything go away- hurt, fear, bad colds and bad throats, bad playmates and scraped knees. They make my world go round. What more can I ask for?

Then I thought of a friend who is battling a lone battle- trying to make sense of loving a man who cannot give up drinking, trying to bring this man back into the fold of the family he started with her and whose children no longer really want to be with him. My heart goes out to this gal with a heart and a spunk to beat all odds and go on loving despite everything and in spite of it all.

Then I thought of this lady who has always had this huge chip on her shoulder, who is always soooo rude to all at office, who has not been able t find anything nice about anyone in her life and is forever the queen bee who must do everything because she thinks only she can! And who cannot accept that there are those who do as much, if not more.

Then I thought of my best friend who had recently undergone a surgery to remove a cyst from under her eye- a simple procedure but it left her with eyes like bags of blood and they just can't seem to get back to normal.

Then I thought of this mom of a past friend of my daughter who is going through a silly and stupid divorce because the two of them cannot get over who is more important in the marriage- the woman or the man. And who suffers? the two children who have started behaving oddly to say the least.

And I thought of all the homeless, who in the Delhi winter would have to sleep in near zero temperatures out in the open- with a thin cover simply because the city does not have dwellings for the homeless.

And I thought... And I thought...

Can you think so much in the span of less than a minute? I noticed that I would have to ask for my wish real soon- I had only a minute left!

And in that one minute I realised I had to express my gratitude to this God who was going to grant all wishes made before 8:00- that I had to express my deeply felt sense of being truly happy- from inside because I had everything I could ask for.

So I thanked the Lord. And completed my prayer- Let N have her peace, Let S have his job back, Let R's children find their love and their parent's love can survive the divorce, Let N find out that others who work with her are not all trying to pass time but are contributing at least as meaningfully to the world as she thinks she is...

I asked for peace and happiness of all those who touch my life, and whose life I touch.I went a step further and asked for love and peace and contentment to just gently envelop the world as a whole. Everybody deserves a little corner to call their own in which life is a blessing and not an ordeal.

I opened my eyes- and the clock had struck the magic hour.

In that moment of truth, I realised I did not want anything for myself. I had everything I could want, or need.

Today... As I saw the prompt and decided to rethink that question- I thought again-

But today I would like to catch up.
I would like to catch up with my children's pending assignments, with my approaching deadlines, with my just unreachable fitness goals, with my next big surgery, with my next great 'free' moment when I can take a deep breath and just BE. I would like to catch up with the man of my life who is into running these days. And be able to hold him a moment longer.I would like to be able to catch up with everything that MUST be done in the moment and find some time for what I would like to do. Like play with my children, make time to love my husband, spend an evening with my parents, and just generally let my hair down and spend an evening doing nothing! And I would like to catch up and get everything done- and discover that there is still more to do. That Life must go on.

And I would like to catch up- and let go.
I would like to catch up with those floating gas balloons, hold them a while in my hands and enjoy the feeling of having done much in the time I have on this planet. Then... I would like to let go. I would not want to always run and coax my children to do more, run and hold on to my husband and ask him to hold me a moment and let me know I matter. I would like to let go- and allow my children and my husband to find out I'm OK. And they are, too! I would like to hold my coworker by her arms and shake her and tell her we all matter. And then let go. Because she must find out for herself. I would like to finish the next MBA assignment and then, let go- Is this it? Is that all there is? I would like to help my children discover a world where the gas balloons can be tied to the wrists so that when you let go- they do not fly away. They still are with you- till they have any gas left!

And I want to just BE... Stop doing, stop running, stop walking, stop asking, stop cajoling- just be. Just BE happy, just BE there for all those who need that small feed of feeling and looking and seeking and finding- just BE and let everything else BE.






2 comments:

Whispers and Wishes said...

beatiful post... yes... the world certainly gives us ample opportunity to wish for something other than our needs or desires.

Nature Walker said...

Thanks Whispers! Sometimes we realise that we really have all that we could want- and then some. Sure the little things are always welcome- and an occasional big thing?... Well... why not?!

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