A few days ago, we met some friends after what appears to be ages no... eons.
He had gone through a terrible month. Having been hospitalised and unable to attend to his own patients, this doctor friend of ours had gone through real hell and the virtual world had nothing to do with it.
She had been battling work, and husband's health and the cherry on the cake had been her son's difficulties at college. The pressure cooker was on- full and high. It only needed a little tap on the stove top to blast the whole kitchen to glory.
They have been very close friends. My husband and this couple have known each other practically their whole life. They have studied from Junior school through to high school and then even Medical school together. When they meet- nostalgia does not even begin to describe the scene. Often I am the outsider.
At such times, I do what I most enjoy- let them talk and be with my children, and theirs.
This once, SHE came out and talked to me...
"Time really flies! Does it not?!", wistfully, woefully, nostalgic. "It was only yesterday that you guys had got married and had come for dinner. D was still a small baby. Now he's all grown up and gone! I miss my son. And you know? I do not remember what his childhood was like! I regret that. Do you?"
It was heartfelt and it was sheer pain. She was looking for a support- a peg to dry her regret on.
My take on life has always been Family first. And it can be excruciatingly difficult. I am an ENT Surgeon, a writer (of sorts!), a prolific reader, an HR (Human Resource) developer, and I am doing an MBA, Yoga, Kumon, and I love to cook at least one meal for the family. So how does everything fit in?
I told her," M! That is ONE regret I had decided long ago never to have. Through everything I do, this is one thing that has no compromise. I wake up each morning to prepare both my children's school tiffins, get them ready and drop themoff to school before I start rushing through the day to reach the hospital and do my 'job'. Do not get me wrong here. I am crazily passionate about my work and my patients think the world of me.
"But- first and foremost, I am a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter. I decided that the hospital will go on even if I am no longer alive. The people who will never to be able to be the same again are my children and my family.
If I can be good to my patients, why not extend the same patience and time to my children?
If I can be a great surgeon, why not make the same effort at being a great mother?
My children study with me. They play with me. They shop with me. They even cook with me. I teach them, I lead them, I love them and I never tire of telling them how much they mean to me. I am conscious of each moment I am blessed to be with them. I am grateful they love me so much that time, relatively speaking, simply flies!"
You see- life has the tendency to take over. We must make the time that we have count. We may use it well or not, it cannot be stored for use later. Once released, the arrow of time never really comes back. The only way in which we can recapture the moments is through our pictures and snapshots of the past.
Children do grow up fast. Their needs change. Their desires and dislikes change. Through it all, I am grateful to still be the confidante for my 14 year old and be the punching bag for my eight year old.
The more involved we are with our children and the younger they are, the younger we remain.
And the more energy we have to keep doing this thing called family and love.
Like any typical Asian mother, I would never go on holidays alone. For me holiday is family time and it is fun time.
Like any typical Asian mother, I would not accept a bad grade from my children and an A- is a bad grade!
Like any typical Asian mother, I have slept with my children till very late into their adolescence. And I have loved each hug ( and bug) that my children have given me at bed time.
We scream and we shout- we fight and we sing- but we do it together.
And most of all- WE PRAY TOGETHER!
We say simple things and we say profound things to each other. But importantly, we SAY things that we need to say.
We know that when we speak, we are heard. We are not talking to wax statues. We are talking to a family that cares. We MUSt have at least one ,eal together each weekday. We must also have all meals together each weekend.
WE must share our stories and our trials each day. We must also share our victories and our defeats when they happen.
Making time for those you love is not difficult at all!
Life happens.
Time flies.
The tighter we hold it in the palm of our hand, the faster the sand of time slips out.
We must learn to hold it softly, share more fully and love more freely.
When you freely and truly love, it is easy to say no to anything that may come in the way.
And- if you must write for the NaBloPoMo- you write when everybody is already playing with you in Slumberland! (hopefully)
So- here I am typing away, unknown word counts, trying to figure out if I will be able to upload anything at all, and my children are already in Slumberland playing with me and telling me stories. My husband is already there, too. He is giving them good company. I look at them and a smile lights up my face.
I do not have to make time for anyone! My time is their time till they want it. This, too shall change. And before that happens and I stand in some balcony and think back to my children's childhood, I want to live each moment as if it belongs only to them and to me- TOGETHER.
We do not just share a roof over our heads, we share the space that our heart beats define into the cacophony we sometimes drown ourselves in. Such is life. But it is a life where the landscape and the sound scape is mingled with our love and our smiles, with our time and our heartbeats.
This is a place that glows because we are open to receiving AND giving from and to each other.
I want to live a life of no regrets- it is too short anyway!
He had gone through a terrible month. Having been hospitalised and unable to attend to his own patients, this doctor friend of ours had gone through real hell and the virtual world had nothing to do with it.
She had been battling work, and husband's health and the cherry on the cake had been her son's difficulties at college. The pressure cooker was on- full and high. It only needed a little tap on the stove top to blast the whole kitchen to glory.
They have been very close friends. My husband and this couple have known each other practically their whole life. They have studied from Junior school through to high school and then even Medical school together. When they meet- nostalgia does not even begin to describe the scene. Often I am the outsider.
At such times, I do what I most enjoy- let them talk and be with my children, and theirs.
This once, SHE came out and talked to me...
"Time really flies! Does it not?!", wistfully, woefully, nostalgic. "It was only yesterday that you guys had got married and had come for dinner. D was still a small baby. Now he's all grown up and gone! I miss my son. And you know? I do not remember what his childhood was like! I regret that. Do you?"
It was heartfelt and it was sheer pain. She was looking for a support- a peg to dry her regret on.
My take on life has always been Family first. And it can be excruciatingly difficult. I am an ENT Surgeon, a writer (of sorts!), a prolific reader, an HR (Human Resource) developer, and I am doing an MBA, Yoga, Kumon, and I love to cook at least one meal for the family. So how does everything fit in?
I told her," M! That is ONE regret I had decided long ago never to have. Through everything I do, this is one thing that has no compromise. I wake up each morning to prepare both my children's school tiffins, get them ready and drop themoff to school before I start rushing through the day to reach the hospital and do my 'job'. Do not get me wrong here. I am crazily passionate about my work and my patients think the world of me.
"But- first and foremost, I am a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter. I decided that the hospital will go on even if I am no longer alive. The people who will never to be able to be the same again are my children and my family.
If I can be good to my patients, why not extend the same patience and time to my children?
If I can be a great surgeon, why not make the same effort at being a great mother?
My children study with me. They play with me. They shop with me. They even cook with me. I teach them, I lead them, I love them and I never tire of telling them how much they mean to me. I am conscious of each moment I am blessed to be with them. I am grateful they love me so much that time, relatively speaking, simply flies!"
You see- life has the tendency to take over. We must make the time that we have count. We may use it well or not, it cannot be stored for use later. Once released, the arrow of time never really comes back. The only way in which we can recapture the moments is through our pictures and snapshots of the past.
Children do grow up fast. Their needs change. Their desires and dislikes change. Through it all, I am grateful to still be the confidante for my 14 year old and be the punching bag for my eight year old.
The more involved we are with our children and the younger they are, the younger we remain.
And the more energy we have to keep doing this thing called family and love.
Like any typical Asian mother, I would never go on holidays alone. For me holiday is family time and it is fun time.
Like any typical Asian mother, I would not accept a bad grade from my children and an A- is a bad grade!
Like any typical Asian mother, I have slept with my children till very late into their adolescence. And I have loved each hug ( and bug) that my children have given me at bed time.
We scream and we shout- we fight and we sing- but we do it together.
And most of all- WE PRAY TOGETHER!
We say simple things and we say profound things to each other. But importantly, we SAY things that we need to say.
We know that when we speak, we are heard. We are not talking to wax statues. We are talking to a family that cares. We MUSt have at least one ,eal together each weekday. We must also have all meals together each weekend.
WE must share our stories and our trials each day. We must also share our victories and our defeats when they happen.
Making time for those you love is not difficult at all!
Life happens.
Time flies.
The tighter we hold it in the palm of our hand, the faster the sand of time slips out.
We must learn to hold it softly, share more fully and love more freely.
When you freely and truly love, it is easy to say no to anything that may come in the way.
And- if you must write for the NaBloPoMo- you write when everybody is already playing with you in Slumberland! (hopefully)
So- here I am typing away, unknown word counts, trying to figure out if I will be able to upload anything at all, and my children are already in Slumberland playing with me and telling me stories. My husband is already there, too. He is giving them good company. I look at them and a smile lights up my face.
I do not have to make time for anyone! My time is their time till they want it. This, too shall change. And before that happens and I stand in some balcony and think back to my children's childhood, I want to live each moment as if it belongs only to them and to me- TOGETHER.
We do not just share a roof over our heads, we share the space that our heart beats define into the cacophony we sometimes drown ourselves in. Such is life. But it is a life where the landscape and the sound scape is mingled with our love and our smiles, with our time and our heartbeats.
This is a place that glows because we are open to receiving AND giving from and to each other.
I want to live a life of no regrets- it is too short anyway!
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