That was yesterday!
Today the game was over before it had begun.
My body was an automaton, working to a spinal routine it follows everyday. There was no fight in me. My mind was being churned by a thousand thoughts moving at whirlwind speed with the destructive force of a devastating tornado. My heart and soul were still trying to recover. There... really... was... no... fight... left in me!
Some long lost line I had read in some far away past by an author I do not remember flashed on my mental screen -" And all we can hope for is to die in our sleep" May be it was a Kenny G song- Gambler? Why did he say it? When did he say it? Was it part of a song? Poem? Book? I was not sure. I tried to detach myself from the thought and analyze it. The only analysis that I could make was this- " I know how you feel."
Today was one of those days that I was down and blue right at the onset of the day. It was a carryover from yesterday. It had been a horrible day yesterday. I did not want to talk about it but I was finding myself dragged deep into a dungeon I did not like. I am not like this! I reminded myself. It did not work.
As I turned the final turning to the hospital at a very sedate pace- not really caring whether I was on time or not, I suddenly realised I had to reach at 8:30 today for a common meeting. Not the usual nine. I had left home at 8:30. Down in dumps. Hating the thought of having to get out of bed today. Hating to get into the car today. really not wanting to drive today.
The battle was really hopelessly lost even before it had begun. I had lost this one somewhere in the restless night's sleep.
Happy Valentine's day!
Looking back at yesterday's post, it seemed poignat that the two successive days should be host to two entirely different mental attitudes from the same person. One upbeat and the other hopelessly depressed.
Like it is said in our Scriptures, Highs and lows of life are like the movement of a wheel, up today, down tomorrow. Neither rejoice in delight nor cry in sorrow... these are cyclic changes.
सुखं आपतितम सेव्यं दुखम आपतितम तथा
चक्रवात परिवर्तन्ते दुखानी च सुखानी च
This is the best that google transliteration could do. I know there are spelling errors in this one. What it means is - As one welcomes happiness, so should one accept the sorrow that comes. Both, happiness and sorrow are parts of the same wheel and change cyclically one after the other.
The game
The game is not lost till it is won. And till you have even a minute of game left, you have sixty seconds worth of chance to win.
These were the thoughts swimming in my head at breakneck speed on my way to the hospital.
It was 8:55 am. I had reached the ITO crossing. I knew if I found this signal red, it would take away three minutes of precious time I had left to reach BEFORE nine.
I rejoiced. YES! I rejoiced. The signal was green! This had to be God telling me winning could be a possibility. I crossed the crossing( well... what else would you do to a crossing!?) The road ahead was clear. Strange at this time of the day. Now, I had this stretch of a clear road ahead and the final traffic signal. If this too was green, I would be in time.
Red. I saw from a distance. Oh no! three minutes. My eyes moved from the road to the dashboard. the clock was incessantly moving. Who can stop or slow down time? Theory of relativity is great but not when you have a deadline in a few minutes.
8:56, the clock proclaimed. I was drawing nearer to the signal. I slowed the car. 60kmph to 50. Still red. Further slowed to 40 and then 30. The signal turned green, I was still a few yards away. Yippee! My heart jumped for joy.
8:57.
I knew I could not cover the last stretch in three minutes. But, it was not a lost cause. Till the last second ticked and the clock actually said nine, the fight was not over! I kept on.
8:58.
Very close. Almost at the gate. No milk truck had come in the way, no cycle rickshaw overloaded with tiny school children rolling slowly in front of me. I was at the gate. Now only to turn in! I had made it. The triumph of spirit over matter. The triumph of fortune over time.
Just then, not one but two cycle rickshaws entered my field of vision. Coming in from the opposite side, almost at the gate. They did not stop. I had to stop to let them pass.
8:59.
One rickshaw passed. The next one rolled along. These two s...l...o...w...l...y passed my next few seconds away in an excruciating transit in front of the hospital gate. The clock struck nine. I was still out here!
The game was over.
I was, however, strangely at peace... I had tried, almost won, and then, not really but very nearly lost. Was this so important? Would it be as important tomorrow? Would it be so dramatic after a year? After five years?
These were the thoughts swimming in my head at breakneck speed on my way to the hospital.
It was 8:55 am. I had reached the ITO crossing. I knew if I found this signal red, it would take away three minutes of precious time I had left to reach BEFORE nine.
I rejoiced. YES! I rejoiced. The signal was green! This had to be God telling me winning could be a possibility. I crossed the crossing( well... what else would you do to a crossing!?) The road ahead was clear. Strange at this time of the day. Now, I had this stretch of a clear road ahead and the final traffic signal. If this too was green, I would be in time.
Red. I saw from a distance. Oh no! three minutes. My eyes moved from the road to the dashboard. the clock was incessantly moving. Who can stop or slow down time? Theory of relativity is great but not when you have a deadline in a few minutes.
8:56, the clock proclaimed. I was drawing nearer to the signal. I slowed the car. 60kmph to 50. Still red. Further slowed to 40 and then 30. The signal turned green, I was still a few yards away. Yippee! My heart jumped for joy.
8:57.
I knew I could not cover the last stretch in three minutes. But, it was not a lost cause. Till the last second ticked and the clock actually said nine, the fight was not over! I kept on.
8:58.
Very close. Almost at the gate. No milk truck had come in the way, no cycle rickshaw overloaded with tiny school children rolling slowly in front of me. I was at the gate. Now only to turn in! I had made it. The triumph of spirit over matter. The triumph of fortune over time.
Just then, not one but two cycle rickshaws entered my field of vision. Coming in from the opposite side, almost at the gate. They did not stop. I had to stop to let them pass.
8:59.
One rickshaw passed. The next one rolled along. These two s...l...o...w...l...y passed my next few seconds away in an excruciating transit in front of the hospital gate. The clock struck nine. I was still out here!
The game was over.
I was, however, strangely at peace... I had tried, almost won, and then, not really but very nearly lost. Was this so important? Would it be as important tomorrow? Would it be so dramatic after a year? After five years?
Are we educating our children?
Sometimes, we as parents and educators are so busy trying to provide the children with answers that the children lose the art of asking and approaching questions.
The focus of any successful teaching strategy MUST be to impart a sense of wonder, and adventure to everyday learning. Everyday learning should be a habit that the children enjoy not a task that they need to complete, forcibly.
The focus of any successful teaching strategy MUST be to impart a sense of wonder, and adventure to everyday learning. Everyday learning should be a habit that the children enjoy not a task that they need to complete, forcibly.
The basic academic skills that are often talked of are the result of extremely loving nurturing teachers. Much more than student motivation, this requires a dedicated teacher. I would, thus probably put more importance on self learning ability.
On our recent trip to Rishikesh, we were taken aback by two things- on the road to Rishikesh. UP is FULL of educational institutions- schools and colleges and universities. Every second building that you see on the highway is a University. It has the well known premier institutions like the Regional Engineering College and the IIT Roorkie as well many many lesser known institutions that dot the landscape so densely that you can barely see the land. AND... yet... you have a population that can barely read, knows and shows little civic sense, is living from day to day in a rut they appear to have created for themselves with these numerous degree possibilities!
Will the University of XYZ equip them to deal with the new situations life will inevitably throw at them? Will a certificate or a piece of paper make sure they know how to LIVE?
Will the University of XYZ equip them to deal with the new situations life will inevitably throw at them? Will a certificate or a piece of paper make sure they know how to LIVE?
Tough questions these, for educators and for us as citizens.
We need more teaching strategies like the ones Amir seems to be promoting in his recent flick- Three Idiots. As well as one that I am currently experiencing- Kumon. More on this a little later! It is we who have to make sure we make the children ABLE to SEEK and look for questions as much as look for answers!
Driving into the clouds...
I drive down this road every day. Twice a day.
I know every turn, curve and bank on this road.
I knew where I was going even if all I could see ahead of me was a cloud of fog so dense that it could be cut with a knife and yet so nebulous that it seemed to part with the exhalation of each car cutting through it.
Visibility was down to only five feet or so. This picture was taken with my mobile from a moving car... the motion blur can be seen...
Yet- with the confidence that comes with habitual familiarity, I could go at a steady pace. Each few feet revealed a further few feet. All this while the road gone by was engulfed in the swirling fog again.
The goal was clear. Reach the hospital. In time.
The direction was clear. Sometimes a car ahead with the rear blinkers on made the progress faster. Mostly I could trust my driving ability and my familiarity with this path. I knew I would get there. Where ever there is!
Life's roads are often like this. You may not be able to see very far ahead. You simply have to start. Then, each step reveals more along the path. You must only define your goal and set the correct direction. The path ahead is revealed just as the past is swallowed. Sometimes one comes across some friend peer or guide who make the progress faster. They simply have to be moving in the same general direction. We must also let go when our directions diverge.
As Dory said in " Finding Nemo", "Keep on swimming. Just keep on swimming."
Is true love for real?
I was once asked this question... Is true love for real?
My answer...
True love is.
I have seen it in my grandmother's eyes when she was dying in my grandfather's lap after a long disabling illness.
I saw it in my grandfather's touch when, at the age of 80 he cared for my ailing grandmother. Untiringly.
I felt it in the suppressed sobs of my tough- hard- as-nails- father when I informed him of his father's demise.
I have basked in it each time I see my parents together- my father is nearing 70 and my mother is on the wrong side of 60. Even today when they look at each other- there is magic in the air! They still hold hands and laugh together as teenagers would! Their bright faces tell of a deeply felt strength and confidence for whatever life may deal out to them.
I have felt it when my husband can look at me across a roomful of people and speak with his eyes! It is as if everyone else just fades away and we are alone- together. The look, the touch, the smile, the care- it is all reassuring.
True love is atleast as much about being possessed as about possessing! It is atleast as much about being cared for as it is about caring for.
True love does not mean absence of conflict or even an occassional battle- whether of ego or of wits. True love is not even loving despite these conflicts. It is about there being no question about the love even in the bitterest of fights.
Love is everywhere... it is the feeling of being special for someone... a friend, a child, a student, a man or a woman... it could be anyone who wants to talk and share with you... who can lift your spirit when it is sagging and make you fly when you are already up... And you are often surprised at the human capacity to love so many people simultaneously in so many different ways that it is difficult to count!
Love is when a little child with crumpled flowers in his little hand wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day on just about Happy any day! Love is also when your friend calls you in an ecstatic moment of glory and recognition and feels great at the appreciation you give... love is also when you can be together despite the distance!
True love is. I have found it.
My answer...
True love is.
I have seen it in my grandmother's eyes when she was dying in my grandfather's lap after a long disabling illness.
I saw it in my grandfather's touch when, at the age of 80 he cared for my ailing grandmother. Untiringly.
I felt it in the suppressed sobs of my tough- hard- as-nails- father when I informed him of his father's demise.
I have basked in it each time I see my parents together- my father is nearing 70 and my mother is on the wrong side of 60. Even today when they look at each other- there is magic in the air! They still hold hands and laugh together as teenagers would! Their bright faces tell of a deeply felt strength and confidence for whatever life may deal out to them.
I have felt it when my husband can look at me across a roomful of people and speak with his eyes! It is as if everyone else just fades away and we are alone- together. The look, the touch, the smile, the care- it is all reassuring.
True love is atleast as much about being possessed as about possessing! It is atleast as much about being cared for as it is about caring for.
True love does not mean absence of conflict or even an occassional battle- whether of ego or of wits. True love is not even loving despite these conflicts. It is about there being no question about the love even in the bitterest of fights.
Love is everywhere... it is the feeling of being special for someone... a friend, a child, a student, a man or a woman... it could be anyone who wants to talk and share with you... who can lift your spirit when it is sagging and make you fly when you are already up... And you are often surprised at the human capacity to love so many people simultaneously in so many different ways that it is difficult to count!
Love is when a little child with crumpled flowers in his little hand wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day on just about Happy any day! Love is also when your friend calls you in an ecstatic moment of glory and recognition and feels great at the appreciation you give... love is also when you can be together despite the distance!
True love is. I have found it.
Did you do your good deed for the day?
When I was a kid, I often saw my father help a child polishing shoes by the roadside or the sweeper picking up the garbage or the poor child whose clothes seemed torn or... Well, the list could go on.
I found this a most remarkable and energizing influence in our family life. This ability to give freely and wholeheartedly may not have been unique to my family but the manner in which it was done was extraordinary.
My father was not so rich that he could just throw away money. Yet he maintained that we were among the more fortunate blessed by Almighty and we must always be grateful for this. We must do what we can, when we can, and where we can- as much as we can. Most importantly, we must do... for doing... not for the results- the fame or the reputation or the money... We must feel the need that we fulfill for others and we would indeed feel fulfilled ourselves.
It was a strange philosophy but it taught us that a good deed was from the heart... not for any ends. His classical advice was that your left hand must not get to know that your right has done something good.
When I see so many people sharing about the good deed for the day, I wonder... When one hand must not know that the other has given, how do people share their 'good' deeds? Do people do good for doing good or for bragging that they did?
I do my share of 'doing good'. I follow my father's advice. I do not talk about it.
I think it cuts both ways. Maybe, as a single person, doing my little bit I am not making earth shattering difference to the world. But to the few who are touched by me, and the few who touch me, each experience is profound.
Do you like to 'brag' you did something good? Or you ... just... do... it??
I found this a most remarkable and energizing influence in our family life. This ability to give freely and wholeheartedly may not have been unique to my family but the manner in which it was done was extraordinary.
My father was not so rich that he could just throw away money. Yet he maintained that we were among the more fortunate blessed by Almighty and we must always be grateful for this. We must do what we can, when we can, and where we can- as much as we can. Most importantly, we must do... for doing... not for the results- the fame or the reputation or the money... We must feel the need that we fulfill for others and we would indeed feel fulfilled ourselves.
It was a strange philosophy but it taught us that a good deed was from the heart... not for any ends. His classical advice was that your left hand must not get to know that your right has done something good.
When I see so many people sharing about the good deed for the day, I wonder... When one hand must not know that the other has given, how do people share their 'good' deeds? Do people do good for doing good or for bragging that they did?
I do my share of 'doing good'. I follow my father's advice. I do not talk about it.
I think it cuts both ways. Maybe, as a single person, doing my little bit I am not making earth shattering difference to the world. But to the few who are touched by me, and the few who touch me, each experience is profound.
Do you like to 'brag' you did something good? Or you ... just... do... it??
Do you have it in you?
Remember the Incy Wincy spider? It has been one of the most lasting nursery rhymes even in my children's memory. Incy Wincy climbs up the spout and the rain washes him out. When the rain is over and the sun is drying up everything... Incy starts on the climb again.
Persistence.
Stick-to- it-iveness.
And Resilience.
Observe the spider building its web- thread by flimsy thread. The work of art may take some time to build but it always looks awesome. (We...lll...!!! It inspires the kind of feeling you look at it with!)
And were you to compare the web's strength with what we percieve to be one of Modern man's stronger inventions- steel... we would find the web is stronger. If you take enough threads of the web and bind them together to the same diameter as the steel cable you want to use for the comparision. Something about the Young's Modulus as I remember from my high school days. You might break the steel cable but the web? Nah!
Have you ever seen a spider trying to find its way up a bathroom sink or the kitchen sink? It is diligently working its way up the slope, slipping, going back up, slipping again and keeping on going. The spider does that. Admirable. The you turn the tap on and the water starts flowing. The spider has now to move against the current. What does it do? Does it give up and flow with the current, go down the drain, quite literally? No, sir! Not the spider. The spider digs its "heels" in and just hangs on. The spider does not struggle against the deluge. It does not try to fight against the current. It does not waste its energy. It stops. Period.
The tap is turned off and the spider starts crawling again.
Even Dory had this to tell everyone in "Finding Nemo"- Just keep on swimming...
And Nike? Just do it! Nike's words have been an inspiration for countless people all over the globe ever since 1988. It has been one of the longest running campaigns. nike defines what the central philosophy for any achiever should be. Just... Do... It...
There will be times when you feel everything is going your way. You are unstoppable. Nothing can go wrong and nothing does. There are other times when nothing is going your way and you just cannot break the inertia of being a dead weight. Everything is bleak. If life did not have its ups and downs, it would not be life. The EKG that represents the heart's activity also keeps going up and down. A flat EKG is death.
So be like the spider. Dig in if you can not do anything else. Stop everything that you are doing and rally your energy, gather all your force... wait... Then- Just do it!
Persistence.
Stick-to- it-iveness.
And Resilience.
Observe the spider building its web- thread by flimsy thread. The work of art may take some time to build but it always looks awesome. (We...lll...!!! It inspires the kind of feeling you look at it with!)
And were you to compare the web's strength with what we percieve to be one of Modern man's stronger inventions- steel... we would find the web is stronger. If you take enough threads of the web and bind them together to the same diameter as the steel cable you want to use for the comparision. Something about the Young's Modulus as I remember from my high school days. You might break the steel cable but the web? Nah!
Have you ever seen a spider trying to find its way up a bathroom sink or the kitchen sink? It is diligently working its way up the slope, slipping, going back up, slipping again and keeping on going. The spider does that. Admirable. The you turn the tap on and the water starts flowing. The spider has now to move against the current. What does it do? Does it give up and flow with the current, go down the drain, quite literally? No, sir! Not the spider. The spider digs its "heels" in and just hangs on. The spider does not struggle against the deluge. It does not try to fight against the current. It does not waste its energy. It stops. Period.
The tap is turned off and the spider starts crawling again.
Even Dory had this to tell everyone in "Finding Nemo"- Just keep on swimming...
And Nike? Just do it! Nike's words have been an inspiration for countless people all over the globe ever since 1988. It has been one of the longest running campaigns. nike defines what the central philosophy for any achiever should be. Just... Do... It...
There will be times when you feel everything is going your way. You are unstoppable. Nothing can go wrong and nothing does. There are other times when nothing is going your way and you just cannot break the inertia of being a dead weight. Everything is bleak. If life did not have its ups and downs, it would not be life. The EKG that represents the heart's activity also keeps going up and down. A flat EKG is death.
So be like the spider. Dig in if you can not do anything else. Stop everything that you are doing and rally your energy, gather all your force... wait... Then- Just do it!
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