That was yesterday!

That was yesterday!

Today the game was over before it had begun.

My body was an automaton, working to a spinal routine it follows everyday. There was no fight in me. My mind was being churned by a thousand thoughts moving at whirlwind speed with the destructive force of a devastating tornado. My heart and soul were still trying to recover. There... really... was... no... fight... left in me!

Some long lost line I had read in some far away past by an author I do not remember flashed on my mental screen -" And all we can hope for is to die in our sleep" May be it was a Kenny G song- Gambler? Why did he say it? When did he say it? Was it part of a song? Poem? Book? I was not sure. I tried to detach myself from the thought and analyze it. The only analysis that I could make was this- " I know how you feel."

Today was one of those days that I was down and blue right at the onset of the day. It was a carryover from yesterday. It had been a horrible day yesterday. I did not want to talk about it but I was finding myself dragged deep into a dungeon I did not like. I am not like this! I reminded myself. It did not work.

As I turned the final turning to the hospital at a very sedate pace- not really caring whether I was on time or not, I suddenly realised I had to reach at 8:30 today for a common meeting. Not the usual nine. I had left home at 8:30. Down in dumps. Hating the thought of having to get out of bed today. Hating to get into the car today. really not wanting to drive today.

The battle was really hopelessly lost even before it had begun. I had lost this one somewhere in the restless night's sleep.

Happy Valentine's day!


Looking back at yesterday's post, it seemed poignat that the two successive days should be host to two entirely different mental attitudes from the same person. One upbeat and the other hopelessly depressed.

Like it is said in our Scriptures, Highs and lows of life are like the movement of a wheel, up today, down tomorrow. Neither rejoice in delight nor cry in sorrow... these are cyclic changes.

सुखं आपतितम सेव्यं दुखम आपतितम तथा
चक्रवात परिवर्तन्ते दुखानी च सुखानी च

This is the best that google transliteration could do. I know there are spelling errors in this one. What it means is - As one welcomes happiness, so should one accept the sorrow that comes. Both, happiness and sorrow are parts of the same wheel and change cyclically one after the other.