Are we educating our children?

Sometimes, we as parents and educators are so busy trying to provide the children with answers that the children lose the art of asking and approaching questions.

The focus of any successful teaching strategy MUST be to impart a sense of wonder, and adventure to everyday learning. Everyday learning should be a habit that the children enjoy not a task that they need to complete, forcibly.

The basic academic skills that are often talked of are the result of extremely loving nurturing teachers. Much more than student motivation, this requires a dedicated teacher. I would, thus probably put more importance on self learning ability.

On our recent trip to Rishikesh, we were taken aback by two things- on the road to Rishikesh. UP is FULL of educational institutions- schools and colleges and universities. Every second building that you see on the highway is a University. It has the well known premier institutions like the Regional Engineering College and the IIT Roorkie as well many many lesser known institutions that dot the landscape so densely that you can barely see the land. AND... yet... you have a population that can barely read, knows and shows little civic sense, is living from day to day in a rut they appear to have created for themselves with these numerous degree possibilities!

Will the University of XYZ equip them to deal with the new situations life will inevitably throw at them? Will a certificate or a piece of paper make sure they know how to LIVE?

Tough questions these, for educators and for us as citizens.

We need more teaching strategies like the ones Amir seems to be promoting in his recent flick- Three Idiots. As well as one that I am currently experiencing- Kumon. More on this a little later! It is we who have to make sure we make the children ABLE to SEEK and look for questions as much as look for answers!

Driving into the clouds...

21012010052, originally uploaded by naturewalker.

I drive down this road every day. Twice a day.
I know every turn, curve and bank on this road.

I knew where I was going even if all I could see ahead of me was a cloud of fog so dense that it could be cut with a knife and yet so nebulous that it seemed to part with the exhalation of each car cutting through it.

Visibility was down to only five feet or so. This picture was taken with my mobile from a moving car... the motion blur can be seen...

Yet- with the confidence that comes with habitual familiarity, I could go at a steady pace. Each few feet revealed a further few feet. All this while the road gone by was engulfed in the swirling fog again.

The goal was clear. Reach the hospital. In time.

The direction was clear. Sometimes a car ahead with the rear blinkers on made the progress faster. Mostly I could trust my driving ability and my familiarity with this path. I knew I would get there. Where ever there is!

Life's roads are often like this. You may not be able to see very far ahead. You simply have to start. Then, each step reveals more along the path. You must only define your goal and set the correct direction. The path ahead is revealed just as the past is swallowed. Sometimes one comes across some friend peer or guide who make the progress faster. They simply have to be moving in the same general direction. We must also let go when our directions diverge.

As Dory said in " Finding Nemo", "Keep on swimming. Just keep on swimming."

Is true love for real?

I was once asked this question... Is true love for real?

My answer...


True love is.

I have seen it in my grandmother's eyes when she was dying in my grandfather's lap after a long disabling illness.

I saw it in my grandfather's touch when, at the age of 80 he cared for my ailing grandmother. Untiringly.

I felt it in the suppressed sobs of my tough- hard- as-nails- father when I informed him of his father's demise.

I have basked in it each time I see my parents together- my father is nearing 70 and my mother is on the wrong side of 60. Even today when they look at each other- there is magic in the air! They still hold hands and laugh together as teenagers would! Their bright faces tell of a deeply felt strength and confidence for whatever life may deal out to them.

I have felt it when my husband can look at me across a roomful of people and speak with his eyes! It is as if everyone else just fades away and we are alone- together. The look, the touch, the smile, the care- it is all reassuring.

True love is atleast as much about being possessed as about possessing! It is atleast as much about being cared for as it is about caring for.

True love does not mean absence of conflict or even an occassional battle- whether of ego or of wits. True love is not even loving despite these conflicts. It is about there being no question about the love even in the bitterest of fights.

Love is everywhere... it is the feeling of being special for someone... a friend, a child, a student, a man or a woman... it could be anyone who wants to talk and share with you... who can lift your spirit when it is sagging and make you fly when you are already up... And you are often surprised at the human capacity to love so many people simultaneously in so many different ways that it is difficult to count!

Love is when a little child with crumpled flowers in his little hand wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day on just about Happy any day! Love is also when your friend calls you in an ecstatic moment of glory and recognition and feels great at the appreciation you give... love is also when you can be together despite the distance!



True love is. I have found it.

Did you do your good deed for the day?

When I was a kid, I often saw my father help a child polishing shoes by the roadside or the sweeper picking up the garbage or the poor child whose clothes seemed torn or... Well, the list could go on.

I found this a most remarkable and energizing influence in our family life. This ability to give freely and wholeheartedly may not have been unique to my family but the manner in which it was done was extraordinary.

My father was not so rich that he could just throw away money. Yet he maintained that we were among the more fortunate blessed by Almighty and we must always be grateful for this. We must do what we can, when we can, and where we can- as much as we can. Most importantly, we must do... for doing... not for the results- the fame or the reputation or the money... We must feel the need that we fulfill for others and we would indeed feel fulfilled ourselves.

It was a strange philosophy but it taught us that a good deed was from the heart... not for any ends. His classical advice was that your left hand must not get to know that your right has done something good.

When I see so many people sharing about the good deed for the day, I wonder... When one hand must not know that the other has given, how do people share their 'good' deeds? Do people do good for doing good or for bragging that they did?

I do my share of 'doing good'. I follow my father's advice. I do not talk about it.

I think it cuts both ways. Maybe, as a single person, doing my little bit I am not making earth shattering difference to the world. But to the few who are touched by me, and the few who touch me, each experience is profound.

Do you like to 'brag' you did something good? Or you ... just... do... it??

Do you have it in you?

Remember the Incy Wincy spider? It has been one of the most lasting nursery rhymes even in my children's memory. Incy Wincy climbs up the spout and the rain washes him out. When the rain is over and the sun is drying up everything... Incy starts on the climb again.

Persistence.

Stick-to- it-iveness.

And Resilience.

Observe the spider building its web- thread by flimsy thread. The work of art may take some time to build but it always looks awesome. (We...lll...!!! It inspires the kind of feeling you look at it with!)

And were you to compare the web's strength with what we percieve to be one of Modern man's stronger inventions- steel... we would find the web is stronger. If you take enough threads of the web and bind them together to the same diameter as the steel cable you want to use for the comparision. Something about the Young's Modulus as I remember from my high school days. You might break the steel cable but the web? Nah!

Have you ever seen a spider trying to find its way up a bathroom sink or the kitchen sink? It is diligently working its way up the slope, slipping, going back up, slipping again and keeping on going. The spider does that. Admirable. The you turn the tap on and the water starts flowing. The spider has now to move against the current. What does it do? Does it give up and flow with the current, go down the drain, quite literally? No, sir! Not the spider. The spider digs its "heels" in and just hangs on. The spider does not struggle against the deluge. It does not try to fight against the current. It does not waste its energy. It stops. Period.

The tap is turned off and the spider starts crawling again.

Even Dory had this to tell everyone in "Finding Nemo"- Just keep on swimming...

And Nike? Just do it! Nike's words have been an inspiration for countless people all over the globe ever since 1988. It has been one of the longest running campaigns. nike defines what the central philosophy for any achiever should be. Just... Do... It...

There will be times when you feel everything is going your way. You are unstoppable. Nothing can go wrong and nothing does. There are other times when nothing is going your way and you just cannot break the inertia of being a dead weight. Everything is bleak. If life did not have its ups and downs, it would not be life. The EKG that represents the heart's activity also keeps going up and down. A flat EKG is death.

So be like the spider. Dig in if you can not do anything else. Stop everything that you are doing and rally your energy, gather all your force... wait... Then- Just do it!

When did it all change?

This is a real sms I received from a friend... It set me thinking... When did it all change? And did it change for all? Are there more people out there who really are doing what they wanted to do all along? Is this just mid-life crisis? Have a look...

I am sitting 'n thinking
thinking hard about life. How it changed from a simple college life to the strict professional life.

How the pocket money changed to huge pay cheques. But the happiness became as little as the pay cheque became bigger.

How the local jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but there are less occasions to wear these clothes.

How a single plate of samosas changed to a full pizza but there is less hunger for food and more for something to do.

How the bike always in reserve changed to a car with a full tank- always on and ready to go. Only there are no more places that we want to go.

How the ta by the road side changed to Cafe Coffee Day/ Barrista... but the thirst is never satisfied and the shops are always so far away.

How the limited prepaid card in the mobile changed to post paid limitless package but we have less people that we really want to call up and talk to.

How a general bus ride changed to third class train tickets to First class AC to flights... but there are less vacations for enjoyment and more of those business trips that we do not want to make.

Further, this friend goes on to say...

I want to go back to the time when "getting high " meant "on a swing"
... when " drinking" meant Coke or even Fanta
... when dad was the only hero
... when "love" was a heart felt hug from mom
... when "dad's shoulder" was the highest place on earth
... when "worst enemy" was your sibling who fought with you
... when the things that "hurt" were skinned knees
... when the only things "broken" were your toys
... when "goodbyes" meant "See you tomorrow"

Anyone out there who feels like this?
Anyone out there who wants to change the way they are living but find their "life" pulling them deeper and deeper into the quagmire we have begun to call "life- style"?
Anyone who wants to make a difference?
Anyone who wants to reconnect? with life and love and sibling rivalry and the rest?

Please...
Come forward...
Let us start a movement...
We can... can we not?

What kind of a world are we living in?

16 year old school boy killed by gym instructor! Screamed the headlines. The roar was deafening and the pain immeasurable. What could be the reason for this senseless killing?

The abductors were known to the victim. They met him at the local gym he went to. One of them was even a twice over Mr Delhi. "All for a few dollars more"? Abductetd a mere forty meters from home! Are our children safe anywhere?

What can we do as parents and responsible citizens to make this world a safer place for our children?
Educate them. Worry not about the effect such education can have on their innocence. It is needed to equip them with the knowledge that there are times to raise alarm and times to fight back. They need to know that such elements that can harm them may be atlarge and nothing can replace them.

Train them. The children need to be well trained in the art of self defence. Any such art not only strengthens their body, it also trains their mind towards resilience and focus. In a country like Israel, where each citizen goes through the army training, no one can touch a woman or a child and get away with it without punishment. This type of training also instills a discipline and law abiding population.

Be alert. Adults need to be alert, too. Someone who saw the incident could have thwarted the attempt. It can happen to anyone. My children. Your children. Anyone. If you see anything extraordinary, trust your own instinct as much as you want the children to trust theirs. Do not be afraid to raise alarm or even rush to the defnce of a threatened citizen- man, woman or child.

Demand accountability. If even half of our working population in India just started doing their own work , our society would be remarkable. If we want security agencies to provide security, we should not accept any less from our Government and from the police. We should, at the same time, also take responsibility for our own micro environments and ensure local safety in zones of influence aound us.When you demand, have the sense of responsibility to give in equal measure- both co-operation and social justice and accountability.

Stand together. We have suffered for ages because we were busy fighting each other. This allowed outsiders to invade and stay on so easily and for so long that we lost our own sense of self worth and strength. It is now time to start small groups of togetherness that can start a movement that spreads like a forest fire- slow to start but with a very little effort and very little wind gets out of control.

WE NEED TO MAKE OUR LOCALITY, OUR CITY, OUR COUNTRY A SAFER PLACE .
And only we can do that. Not our police. Not our government.

If each one of us is able to encourage just three to five people to respond to the situation with courage and resilience, and each of those is further able to do it with as many more, we will have started a movement that will be unstoppable.

I will. Will you? And you? And you?