Trying to post two posts to make up for yesterday. I had severe pain chest and upper abdomen- never felt anything like it before. It made me feel as if all my viscera were going to fall out from wherever they can find a way; and if they cannot, they will strain hard against the resistance that my body's boundaries were posing. It was excruciating and I could not hide it... for once.
We tend to hide how much we hurt, and how sad we are. We do not try to make small of our love and our happiness. We are often afraid to be transparent- because that reveals our vulnerability and our weaknesses. What if someone takes advantage of our weakness? What if someone uses it against us? What if... And we hide it so well, that we start hiding it from ourselves!
But those who know us, and love us- they can see it clearly. When they say it to us- we are not able to accept it, too. By now we believe what we live- the lie. By now our reality is different from THE reality.
And as they say- some of the things that matter most are invisible- gravity, atoms, DNA. Yet they are as real as the chair I sit on, and the machine I type this post on! And these real things, too- are made up of largely empty spaces! How can so much emptiness create so much solidity and tangibility?
No... I am not very good at admitting to me faults- but I am getting there.
No... I am not very good at accepting my shortcomings when they are pointed out- but I am trying to get there, too.
No... I am not very good good at seeing MY invisible- but I am trying to expand my vision- and look beyond what appears to be. I want to reach what IS. And not be hurt by it- any longer!!
And that is what life should be about? No?
We tend to hide how much we hurt, and how sad we are. We do not try to make small of our love and our happiness. We are often afraid to be transparent- because that reveals our vulnerability and our weaknesses. What if someone takes advantage of our weakness? What if someone uses it against us? What if... And we hide it so well, that we start hiding it from ourselves!
But those who know us, and love us- they can see it clearly. When they say it to us- we are not able to accept it, too. By now we believe what we live- the lie. By now our reality is different from THE reality.
And as they say- some of the things that matter most are invisible- gravity, atoms, DNA. Yet they are as real as the chair I sit on, and the machine I type this post on! And these real things, too- are made up of largely empty spaces! How can so much emptiness create so much solidity and tangibility?
No... I am not very good at admitting to me faults- but I am getting there.
No... I am not very good at accepting my shortcomings when they are pointed out- but I am trying to get there, too.
No... I am not very good good at seeing MY invisible- but I am trying to expand my vision- and look beyond what appears to be. I want to reach what IS. And not be hurt by it- any longer!!
And that is what life should be about? No?
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