There is so much I want to do!

There is so much I want to do that I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to do it all, or even a little. Then I begin to feel the feeling deep in my heart and my gut that I can, and already AM doing SOMETHING... surely that counts for something! Even if I cannot do ALL that I want to, I must keep doing SOME of it- everyday, day after day. And the drops will form a downpour- and the oceans can only be formed by several drops seen together.

So I must see what is it that drives the inner engine each day?
What makes me glad to be alive everyday?
What makes me want to wake up each morning?

I do not want to make earth shattering changes...
I want to make people happy, and I want to make people believe in their own force- to heal themselves, to heal their families and their friends.

I want to make Math and English as fascinating in schools as I find them at 42, I want to be able to make it possible for children to THINK and come up with solutions, to feel each problem as a fascinating challenge that is an opportunity for growth.

 I want to make each person I see, or talk to feel that they are supremely powerful and believe they can make a difference.

 I want to start a movement that can spread from one to two to two each to four each and grow in a viral manner- and take over the minds of people in my country and in the world that it is basically a Happy and young place.

I want to make people believe that nice is great and important can be nice.

I want to make it possible for people to identify what is really important in their lives BEFORE it is too late to appreciate it.

I want people to feel love and find their roses in their own gardens, as well as accept the thorns that must be handled with care.

I want to see the world a brighter happier place with smileys, LARGE yellow ones, in nooks and crannies that we often do not wander into, but could simply stumble upon. I want to see the world a more quiet, noise free place where people can respect each other for what and who they are.

I want to do all of that and then some more...

I want to inspire and be inspired and I want the globe to be a lighted inspired community...

I want people to be friends and have an attitude of gratitude.

I want- also- that when one feels the pain, they be allowed to cry... that they be nurtured and told it is OK! That the sun does rise again- irrespective.

Utopian? Romantic? Dreamy?
Possibly...
But it is a lot of things to do in a very short time. And thank God for that!! My life is so busy, I do not have the time to be really sad or angry for too long. My life is so full that I do not have much space for too much hurt or resentment for very long either.

Don't get me wrong!

I do have my pains and my moments of utter despair.

I do have my days of having gotten up from the wrong side of the bed.

I, too have my feelings of intense anger- even wanting to smash someone's nose! (And I am an ENT Surgeon!! So may be I can fix that!) And I know THAT can be a punishable offence! SO good sense soon takes over.

The point is, through all of it- the moments of anger, despair, pain, sadness are momentary and short lived. The overall complexion of my life is THANK GOD!

Thank God for the wonderful man I have for a husband who I am still madly in love with after nearly twenty five years of knowing him.

Thank God for the parents who gave me the strength and the gumption to stand out in a crowd and not feel like a sore thumb and taught me I could do ANYTHING I decided to.

Thank God, for the lovely children who love me, who drive me crazy and who make me go in circles, both in amusement and in sheer desperation.

Thank God for my friends who accept me in all my moods- warts and all- and love me MOST of the days.

Thank God for a wonderful place to work where people love me and allow me to make a difference each day. And even when they do not love me like I want to be loved they compel me to do better each day!

Thank God for each breath I take because it opens up new mysteries and throws new things to do or see in the world around me.

Thank God!

If there is one thing- only one thing I would be able to leave behind when I depart, it is for my children, my friends and everybody else who has known me to have this attitude of being glad to be alive and ready to live the mystery with love and abandonment, with honesty and sincerity and with the wonder that this life truly deserves.

And a feeling that THEY- each of them, can make a difference.