Being a doctor

There are two kinds of people in the world- one who are living each moment of their life as if it were the only life-defining moment and the other, who just go on living without a thought.

In our lives as doctors, too, we encounter the two types... one who live and die with each patient they treat and those who simply treat disease conditions.

From the ringside, the view is fantastic. The Doctor is a "God", someone who demolishes everything that comes in the way of health! Everything that puts ordinary mortals out of commission is put out of commission by the Doctor. Everything that makes ordinary mortals unable to do their ordinary everyday living is precisely what defines everyday living of doctors! Glamour. Strength. Victory. Undefeatable. Doctor.

From the ringside- it is only glamour and strength... the internal workings of a very human mind and body, the tribulations and triumphs of the human being who works with and on other human beings are often not seen by onlookers.

The mistakes and accidents are not viewed as mistakes and accidents. These are things that have affected another human being adversely. Does one human being set out to harm another- especially as a doctor? The first category feel each moment and each patient as a mission... something they are ordained by God and Destiny to help heal. The second category do what they can, and move on.

Which are doing their duty faithfully and with Faith?

Why is the stress of a complication something that the first category of humans who have trained to be doctors feel so much in their bones and sinew- in the depth of their souls?

They did the best they could- they cannot do anything less... And yet they carry the burden of the complication as a personal failure...

They did the best they could- they cannot do anything less... And yet they carry the cross of the mistake till it bleeds their soul dry...

And then, they get up once again. They set about doing the very thing that caused so much pain and anguish. They demand more from themselves. They stretch. And they stretch more and more. There will come a point when the stretch will no longer be possible... the string will break. The break point of every human being is different and programmed by something beyond our ordinary perceptions.

This is one reason why doctors married to doctors survive not only their professions well but also their marriages thrive and grow stronger in response to all the shared stress they experience.

Doctors, too are human. They are trying and more often succeeding than failing at setting ailments in a state easier healed by nature.

Doctors are human. They are not healers. They are helpers. Doing a duty. In very demanding and testing situations.

Appreciating our shared human nature, living a dream of a better life- for all... a sincere doctor signing off- hoping fellow humans could understand another human being...

From here... to Eternity...

stepping to eternity..., originally uploaded by naturewalker.

Are you ready for that step?

It takes a leap in Faith to believe that Sky is NOT the limit.
That Eternity is a touch away.
That it is NOT time that passes... but ewe that pass through a time envelope.

What is visible today and accepted as fact was once considered superstition or science fiction yesterday. If we can think it, it is possible- somewhere.

The collective knowledge of the Universe is as available to any of us as it is to the scholar or the Master. It needs a key to unlock the door. Sometimes that combination and the key are provided by the Master.

When you take the first step, you do not necessarily know where the stair-well leads. You know, however, that it leads UP. Is Up the only way to go?

Sometimes, we need to step aside.

Sometimes we need to see beyond.

Sometimes we need to reach around.

We are all here for a purpose. We need to be able to find that calling. Do what it takes to live that life we are meant to live. And move on.

We do not know today what lies beyond. We may find out in the future. And then Science will have crossed another frontier. Science explains only what it can observe. And that is painfully small part of what really is out there.

The bacteria were still there even before Pasteur discovered them. Gravity was still there before Newton found out what it did to the apple.

Moving beyond OBSERVED REALITY, into a realm of experiential existence- one in which miracles happen everyday is not science fiction.

It is today's reality.

Living in grace

There are times when our internal fire runs low... very low... It seems that tomorrow has to bring in something better and more blessed because it cannot get any worse than today! And there may be several such days in succession.

Then, along comes some soul- friend, mentor, guide- who holds your hand and touches your soul. This friend, mentor, guide shows new light, new sources of fire and even helps light up fire that appears to be dying out!

Fortunate are those who find such help along the path life is taking them. However, more fortunate are those who are able to recognise this help God Himself offers. He cannot be everywhere (?) so He decides to send guardian angels who reignite our faith and our belief. They make us believe again that Life has a lot to offer. That we CAN do what we THINK we can!

These people drop in for a while or stay a while longer, but they are always around us. We not only need our eyes to see them- which we do, everyday; but hearts to really feel their presence- which we more often miss.

The noise and the distractions in the modern day world take our feelings and senses on a roller-coaster ride. It makes us dizzy with thrill, and sometimes nauseous with the assault on our senses. This only serves to blunt our perception of the blessings in our lives.

If we are to accept more in our lives, we have to BE more- quiet, receptive, accepting, and be ready to live in grace. We have to pass it on, too. Only in passing it on can we open up the path to receive more.

A cup that is already full cannot accept any more tea- as the Zen master says.

So... have courage, especially when the fire appears to be low. If you seek, you will find. Help is always around. You only have to reach for it.

When old friends meet...

It has been nearly twenty years! Last I saw this friend of mine, it was in 1992!!

Long forgotten memories and long lost roads. We walked them again. Together. After nearly two decades.

Supriya is a teacher in the UK. I am a doctor in New Delhi. We have our families and our children and our work. We both feel passionately about our lives. And we were both together for most of our schooling.

So tender and so engrossing was our meeting that we did not even think of taking any pictures!!

We talked. We talked about our lives then and our lives since. We talked of all that we do now. And we talked about what our families do. With children nearly the same age, we identify with the conflicts and struggles of parenting and raising our childen to be what they can be.

It is not much different for her or for me. Our lives are defined by the several roles we play in the world we inhabit... and by the aspirations we hold for the world we want to build.

And we do want to build a world where our children are not only safe but also nurtured and nurturing.

We both are working in our small capacities and I do hope, there are several more 'mothering' their children to make a difference each day...

Sanjay- My love.

look at those penetrating eyes..., originally uploaded by naturewalker.

This man took my heart away nearly twenty three years ago.

I am fortunate to be married to the man I fell for- my first and only love. We fight and we make up. We see eye to eye- often only glaring. We love, and we often do not say it in as many words.

Do I NEED to say the words, asks Sanjay. Often. Too often. He has forgotten those days when he wanted me to say the words! He never tired of saying them. I never said them!!

Now, I thank the Lord everyday for this man in my life and say the three words to him- over and over and over again. Now he only says- it need not be said!

He is in Ladakh and the devastation due to Flash floods and a cloud burst there has been so graphically televised that I could hardly keep my mind on my work today.

How many phone calls I tried, I cannot count.

How many times I prayed for just one chance to speak to him, I cannot say.

I came to know he is fine by the mid morning. The MAX India foundation were very good to call all the family members.

However, hearing this man's voice was soooooooo important for me!

And after sooooo many years, today, HE SAID THE WORDS WITHOUT MY HAVING TO ASK HIM!!!

Thank God for the love and the sharing in our lives.

Thank God for all the good He has given us the opportunity to do...

Thank God for all that He gives...

Thank GOD for Sanjay in my life!!!!

If you are with the one you love- and he is also the one who loves you, there can be no greater blessing. If you are with the one you would like to grow old and spend lazy evenings sitting in the gentle winter sun, reminiscing about life- you cannot ask for more. If you are so deeply in love that layers of dirt and grime just fall off- leaving a polished and shining relationship, you have everything in life.

Thank God for all this, and more, in our life...