More to life than speed

, a photo by naturewalker on Flickr.

There has to be more to life than adding speed to it. Running to catch our own tail leads us only to be dizzy and move in circles or spirals- no beginning and no end.
The colours are lost and the people blur out of focus. All that is left in the end is a haze and perhaps our attempt to hold the sands of time in our fist. The harder we try, the tighter we grip, the less we are able to hold.
Sometimes, hearts get shattered, and sometimes they endure with a strength they knew not they had.
So what do you do with the pieces of a broken heart?
You gather them, and decide to keep walking on. Gather more speed so you cannot see the broken pieces and feel the sharp pain. It may not become whole again, but it has the chance to give more, and take more. It only requires us to make the choice to do so.
The choice has to be made with complete surrender and total commitment. It may be frightening. And then... we must question ourselves. What is our ability to act in spite of the deep fear, in spite of the discomfort it may bring?
We may confront the Gordian's Knot, and know not how to open it. And then, like Alexander, realise the only way out of the knot is to slice it.
Slow down.
Breathe.
And live the life we are meant to.
No less.

May be another day...

May be another day..., a photo by naturewalker on Flickr.

I love and live in my love. ALone.
He loves and lives in his love, too. Alone.
That does not make any sense. But it is supposed to.
It is supposed to be left alone. And he is supposed to be left alone.
So he can find out for himself what I or anyone else means to him, and for him.
And I must wait for that realization to dawn.
Because… I love him.
And I can wait till eternity for that love and that togetherness-
so long as he is the one at the end of that long lonely road. I will walk alone.

And I will learn several languages along the way- just so I narrow the distance we must both travel.
Language that speaks of the heart, of the soul. From the heart, from the soul.
Language that bridges the distance and makes it irrelevant.
Language that makes Time itself irrelevant.
I must learn to speak a language he can understand.
I must also learn to understand the language he speaks.
In our loneliness and our search- it is only words that may string us together.

Those words that speak of feelings. And of forevers.
The head must rule where the heart treads carefully.
And the heart must learn never, ever, to give up.
At the end of days- what else is it that will matter?
That we lived, and lived well.
That we understood and were understood.
That we loved, and we were loved.

And for that day of togetherness
For that moment of truth
Wait I shall
Patiently, and impatiently…
Always, and forever…
Now, and till Eternity.
From Infinity and beyond did we arrive,
To Infinity and beyond shall we go.

Love me now…
Love me forever...

Pain ends.

Pain will not last... And life must go on. It has taken nearly a year for me to come to the point where pain is no longer always controlling my life. There are days when pain and agony take over, and I feel out of control. But there are many more days when, finally, the control is back where it belongs- my head. 

These 10 months have taught me that people care just as much as they do not. 

That pain engages us with ourselves. It tells us to slow down, even stop so we can focus once more on ourselves rather than outside ourselves.

That it is possible to beat it, overcome it- and even live with it. If it does not kill you, it does make you stronger. 

That life is about moving. Moving to live well. And moving on to live better. Staying still is not possible. Being still is. Even the breath mandates movement. 

That most people confuse motion with movement. Motion creates movement, but motion alone is not enough. 

That sometimes- we must simply give in, and breathe or even shed a tear if that is what we want to do. Or need to. 

That giving up is never an option. 

That Something will work- even if there is nothing that has till now- there is always something else. Not a Plan B, but another Plan A. An alternative that has not been tried, and needs to be tested. Like acupuncture! 

That we often confuse moments with life. And then we feel alone, lonely and unloved. Life catches up- the sun come out again and the clouds drift away. 

And that all that matters in the end is how we lived it- not survived but lived.