There are people out there who are trying to lose weight.
There are children out there who are struggling to stay ahead!
There are oldies out there who want to believe in immortality and will colour their hair or have spa treatments in the hope of maintaining youthful looks and body.
There are women out there who will do anything to look bigger (or smaller).
And kids who will go on misbehaving in the unrecognised hope that they will get what they want by attracting attention any which way.
And then there are many who follow a 'guru'... in the belief that such a following will take them across the oceans of existence into eternal bliss...
All of these and many more are simply matters of the mind transferred onto some physical reality (or perceived reality). All of them are going through the same motions and trying to get out of a groove while making the same groove deeper still.
If they keep doing what got them here... how can they hope to get out!?
Suddenly a cat dashed across the road in front of my car. And jolted me out of my reverie.
What was I doing? Waking up to the shrill alarm every morning and being the alarm for my children morning after morning. Going about the day in a repeat mode day in and day out. What am I doing?
Is this not quite like the cat who dashes across the path of an oncoming vehicle and survives? She feels the thrill of doing something that challenges some aspect of reality as she is living it. And feels the thrill of victory and she does it again. She is rushing, oblivious to an oncoming car or a truck, rushing to meet her own end! A cat might have nine lives but what of the tenth instance? In her nine escapes she has learned a behaviour pattern that is dangerous, unsafe and potentially life threatening but is perceived to be safe, harmless and fun! The first few times the dash is really a dash, reflexes heightened for survival. Then... the cat is lulled into a state of overconfident complacency that ultimately ensures a hasty end to a misadventure.
All human beings behave in the same manner.
When presented with a situation, they respond in a given manner. When confronted again they respond similarly if the first was a success. This eventually becomes a learned behaviour. If this behaviour results in desirable results in terms of happiness/ material or physical gains, it becomes reinforced. Till the tenth! Then the disaster strikes and jolts us back to a reality we would much rather not face.
If we are stuck in a rut and keep doing everything the same way... we will only deepen the groove. Stay on in the same groove. Deeper still. If you want to get out... you have to stop. If you want to get out... you have to move differently. Widen rather that deepen. Create a slope that is easier to scale.
A friend recently made a very profound statement.
I had enquired, quite the usual way," How are you?"
"Moving very fast almost out of control!" His voice was somewhat drained. Tired early in the morning.
"So slow down." I suggested. It appeared so simple that it did not need to be said.
There was a thoughtful pause. His mind was actually slowing down for those few moments. Then he said, very deliberately," You know something? When we are driving and the speed picks on? It thrills us to feel the wind against our skin, to see the speedometer racing, to find all that was moving alongside fall behind one by one. We pick up more speed. Go even faster. Suddenly we realise there is a traffic signal that needs us to stop... We hit the brakes... nothing! The brakes have failed and we are in a speeding vehicle. You know what we should do at such times?"
It was a rhetoric question. One that did not need an answer from me. He was deep in thought and had allowed me the grace to witness that moment of truth for my own life.
He continued, very somberly," When you realise you are at high speed, and the brakes have failed, you move into a higher gear- the highest you can. And let the speed rise further. Then you suddenly jerk the vehicle to stop by shifting to the reverse or the first gear. The jerk is mighty. But the car will stop. That is the only way to stop when the brakes have failed."
I was amazed at the imagery. I could almost feel the wind against my own face, my own heartbeat racing with the realisation that the brakes have failed and the jerk of stopping by moving into a lower gear. Life has a way of showing us our required life lessons in its own myriad ways.
My friend continued," Well... I am speeding out of control. I have realised my brakes have failed. I cannot stop now. I have to move into the highest gear before I can jerk to a stop. With this awareness, the best that I can do is to be prepared for the jerk when it comes!"
All this happened in moments. Just a simple hello!
Thanks Babla. Hoping that your jerk is not too jerky. Hoping that the momentum carries you smoothly to whereever you want to go.
Why do we not slow down while we still can without the jerk? Why do we not withdraw ourselves from our speeding life and become spectators of the spectacle we are making of ourselves? And why do we run? Why can we not appreciate the NOW?
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4 comments:
At "If they keep doing what got them here... how can they hope to get out!?" I thought this is the sentence this post is going to be for me. Simple, often read before, sometimes said aloud, but, all the same, forgotten. Until I reached the story of your friend. Will you wish him luck, and say thank you from me too? No, not from me - say, from a reader of your blog, someone unknown, just an average approximation, because I know that 99% of those reading do not comment, but surely they feel the same way?
Will do Swati...
very ture, very familiar. As Swati wrote, most of us feel the same way. And no one other is responsible for this (plight?) condition but we ourselves.
Choices we make in our lives... Praney. Sooner or later we do realise or begin to feel atleast a little uncomfortable about the uncontrolled momentum... Win it or lose it- if you are in the race, you are a rat! Then we want to reassert our human identity and think about slowing down.
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