The woman in Red!

We were at a pool in Pokhara... Our daughter was still experimenting with water and would not let us swim to our heart's desire. This had a flip side. We saw a lot... and learned much about what makes people the people they are!

The object of our attention that day ( apart, ofcourse from the little lady in pink- our princess) was an old lady wearing a red bikini. She looked at least seventy, if not more. She was in a deep conversation with a young man, oblivious of all others around her.

She suddenly moved to the side of the pool and instead of reaching for the stairwell, she reached for the side slab, did a smart hand stand and gracefully pulled her legs over, getting out of the pool like a smart cat. The only thing left for her to do was shake her body and hair to drip water in all directions around her. She was a pleasure to watch. What she did next was extraordinary. She reached for the diving board, and did a somersault, flipping in mid-air, landed like a professional diver, head following outstretched arms in a flawless splash free dive that was breath-taking. She was explaining to the young man how to dive!

I struck a conversation with this grand lady.

As it turned out, we had grossly underestimated her age. She was well over eighty- nearly ninety. She was traveling alone. She loved to swim. She was teaching the young man less than one fourth her age how to dive. And she loved the colour red.

And even more extraordinary was her background! She had had a heart valve replacement surgery, a gall bladder removal, a hysterectomy, cataract, a total hip replacement and even a varicose vein stripping. She was in her own words- brand new!!! She had had all the malfunctioning parts either removed or replaced, she laughed.

I hope that we are able to keep our enthusiasm for living and our love of life as alive as this lady.

I do not know her name, I know not her nationality. I do not even know if she is alive now- this encounter was way back in 1999/2000. I do know however, that she is not dead! She will never die!

As someone great has said- life is not a five star existence whereby you arrive well preserved in a dress suit to meet your maker. Rather it should be an exciting journey whereby you arrive skidding, with greased elbows and bruised knees, a happy smile on your face and say with a satisfied smile, " Phew! what a journey!"

Lessons that children teach us start from the day they are born and continue through their childhood into adolescence onto that imperceptible crossover into adulthood. It is not as if a switch is thrown suddenly at the strike of the midnight hour on their eighteenth birthday! It is a slow and gradual process that transforms a child into an adult and a teacher into a student.

At eight thirty today in the morning, passing the Old Fort on my way to work, I saw a Police Gypsy... well... Qualis! The driver was a policemen in his thirties, perhaps. the subject of my interest was, however, his 'co-pilot'! This man sitting in the front seat had propped his arm on the rolled down window and his head was resting on his arm. Resting! Quite literally. This man, this policeman, was sleeping at eight thirty am. What kind of a hard night could he have had? What kind of goons, or road rage perpetrators could he have chased? What kind of accident victims could he have ferried to the nearest hospital? What could be making him so sleepy with the sun staring him in the face at this time in the morning?

Coming back to the children... Mine had woken up about two hours earlier, had a bath, eaten their morning snack, and readied themselves for the school. They were well into their "work" day!

Two hours earlier, not only have I begun my day but also that of these little children.

They wake up every morning rubbing their eyes with innocence that only a young child can accomplish. It is still the most endearing thing in the morning. Tiny hands going over tiny eyes.
" Mom I am feeling sleepy!, moans my son. We stretch and we read and try whatever else may open our eyes enough to get through with the rest of the routine, including a misting spray!

Children feel every emotion fully, live each moment fully, they are always here, NOW!

When they are happy... they laugh out LOUD NOW.
When something hurts, they wail as if there isn't going to be a tomorrow... NOW.
When they go to school, they may love it or hate it... they are not passive beings given to indifference.

And adults?
Driving the car... AND planning the first meeting in the office!
Talking... AND thinking what to say next.
Having fun... AND drifting back to that project deadline that they have to meet.
Teaching a class BUT thinking about the course to be finished!

We do need to learn a lot from our children...
Live, love, enjoy and cry fully... NOW

The nine lives of a cat!

There are people out there who are trying to lose weight.

There are children out there who are struggling to stay ahead!

There are oldies out there who want to believe in immortality and will colour their hair or have spa treatments in the hope of maintaining youthful looks and body.

There are women out there who will do anything to look bigger (or smaller).

And kids who will go on misbehaving in the unrecognised hope that they will get what they want by attracting attention any which way.

And then there are many who follow a 'guru'... in the belief that such a following will take them across the oceans of existence into eternal bliss...

All of these and many more are simply matters of the mind transferred onto some physical reality (or perceived reality). All of them are going through the same motions and trying to get out of a groove while making the same groove deeper still.

If they keep doing what got them here... how can they hope to get out!?

Suddenly a cat dashed across the road in front of my car. And jolted me out of my reverie.

What was I doing? Waking up to the shrill alarm every morning and being the alarm for my children morning after morning. Going about the day in a repeat mode day in and day out. What am I doing?

Is this not quite like the cat who dashes across the path of an oncoming vehicle and survives? She feels the thrill of doing something that challenges some aspect of reality as she is living it. And feels the thrill of victory and she does it again. She is rushing, oblivious to an oncoming car or a truck, rushing to meet her own end! A cat might have nine lives but what of the tenth instance? In her nine escapes she has learned a behaviour pattern that is dangerous, unsafe and potentially life threatening but is perceived to be safe, harmless and fun! The first few times the dash is really a dash, reflexes heightened for survival. Then... the cat is lulled into a state of overconfident complacency that ultimately ensures a hasty end to a misadventure.

All human beings behave in the same manner.

When presented with a situation, they respond in a given manner. When confronted again they respond similarly if the first was a success. This eventually becomes a learned behaviour. If this behaviour results in desirable results in terms of happiness/ material or physical gains, it becomes reinforced. Till the tenth! Then the disaster strikes and jolts us back to a reality we would much rather not face.

If we are stuck in a rut and keep doing everything the same way... we will only deepen the groove. Stay on in the same groove. Deeper still. If you want to get out... you have to stop. If you want to get out... you have to move differently. Widen rather that deepen. Create a slope that is easier to scale.

A friend recently made a very profound statement.

I had enquired, quite the usual way," How are you?"

"Moving very fast almost out of control!" His voice was somewhat drained. Tired early in the morning.

"So slow down." I suggested. It appeared so simple that it did not need to be said.

There was a thoughtful pause. His mind was actually slowing down for those few moments. Then he said, very deliberately," You know something? When we are driving and the speed picks on? It thrills us to feel the wind against our skin, to see the speedometer racing, to find all that was moving alongside fall behind one by one. We pick up more speed. Go even faster. Suddenly we realise there is a traffic signal that needs us to stop... We hit the brakes... nothing! The brakes have failed and we are in a speeding vehicle. You know what we should do at such times?"

It was a rhetoric question. One that did not need an answer from me. He was deep in thought and had allowed me the grace to witness that moment of truth for my own life.

He continued, very somberly," When you realise you are at high speed, and the brakes have failed, you move into a higher gear- the highest you can. And let the speed rise further. Then you suddenly jerk the vehicle to stop by shifting to the reverse or the first gear. The jerk is mighty. But the car will stop. That is the only way to stop when the brakes have failed."

I was amazed at the imagery. I could almost feel the wind against my own face, my own heartbeat racing with the realisation that the brakes have failed and the jerk of stopping by moving into a lower gear. Life has a way of showing us our required life lessons in its own myriad ways.

My friend continued," Well... I am speeding out of control. I have realised my brakes have failed. I cannot stop now. I have to move into the highest gear before I can jerk to a stop. With this awareness, the best that I can do is to be prepared for the jerk when it comes!"

All this happened in moments. Just a simple hello!

Thanks Babla. Hoping that your jerk is not too jerky. Hoping that the momentum carries you smoothly to whereever you want to go.

Why do we not slow down while we still can without the jerk? Why do we not withdraw ourselves from our speeding life and become spectators of the spectacle we are making of ourselves? And why do we run? Why can we not appreciate the NOW?