What really happened that day?!

The whole chain of events started rather early in the morning. It was 4:00 AM as I discovered hitting the night light on my bed-side time-piece.

something had aroused me. I was trying to make sense of it in the foggy zone between sleep and sleep and wakefulness. If I was up at this godly hour ( In Hindu mythology, 4:00am is brahma kaal...) there had to be a good reason. I wanted so much to sleep on that wakefulness itself was a mighty effort for my brain. It was a phenomenal effort my mind was making.

Was it the dull throbbing ache I was just about beginning to perceive above and behind my right eye? Or had one of the children moved? How long has it been that I have slept a full night without a thought to or a check on how the children are at night? Are the covers on? Or have they found their place on the floor having been kicked unceremoniously? Are the children sleeping comfortably or are they huddled into an uncomfortable bundle because the chill is getting to them? Or may be that mosquito... For a mind that is struggling to sleep on, mine is in overdrive!

I flung my feet down the side of the bed. I must check if the children are fine... Ouch! The floor is cold! This pushes me a step further toward wakefulness from the twilight I am in. I reached for the kids. Sleeping. Soundly. Instinctively, I also checked for wetness on my little one's clothes. He is dry. I congratulate myself. Then I remind my sleepy brain that it is time to take him to the loo. I pick him up gently and take him to the toilet... he relieves himself and I am relieved and proud of my judgment.

As I get him back to bed, and gently lay him down again, I think back to the past few moments.

drifting back to that feeling, I wonder that there HAS to be something that woke me up... By now thw dull ache has become a definite discomfort. I sit for a while. Then I try to lie down and catch up with the missing tail end of my sleep. A futile attempt. By now, it must be time to wake up and get the children ready for school. Sure enough... the alarm goes off. I drag my hurting head and the accompanying body out of the bed, off the pillows. By now slightest of movements feels like a jerk that is directly hitting my brain. I tried hard. But I cannot go on. So I request my better half to help me- a combiflam would probably put me back into the driving seat.

To give him due credit... he did get up, go out for a glass of water, and even hand me a combiflam. Further... he told me he would drop the children to school if I could get them ready. I am fighting a losing battle now. My head feels as if it is in a vice like grip. The slightest movement hurts. I carry on. I have this feeling that the kids may not be able to make it to the school if I donot get them ready. By now, husband dear has hit the pillow again and is in blessed slumberland.

Having got the children ready, I cast one final glance at the sleeping figure on the pillow, pull myself up and ignoring the pain that has by now transformed itself into a veritable sledgehammer, I reach for the mobile phone on the bedside table and take the children to the car. Moksh also picked up his DS. He thought he could play in the car- that would wake him up sufficiently. In the car, I realise it is Sanjay's phone I have picked up! I make a mental note- I must remember the carry it back inside with me upon return. I drop the children to school, drive back home and pick up the phone, take it back inside and place it on the bedside table. Sanjay is sleeping on. On some level I am feeling teh poor me feeling and at some level I am very irritated. He did say he would drop the kids off. My head is still hurting, I have dropped the kids to school and here he is- still sleeping!

Well... I got ready and back into the car driving away, the faint resentment is still lingering on.
I try to relax, doing my deep breathing and my chanting. And relax I did. Suddenly the phone rang. I wonder when I changed my ring tone. And also that teh ring tone sounded familiar. The traffic signal at the Zoo is red. I look for the phone in my bag, take it out- and- it is off! Oh! My god!!!! Sanjay's phone... in my car... my worst nightmare is being played out. I take the call. Apologise that I have mistakenly taken his phone.

Then, I call back... "Hello! your phone is with me..." He does not let me finish. He is like a roaring thunderstorm," Why the hell you don't pick up your own phone? No! I cannot survive without my phone! Do you know how to call transfer?" He is angry- would be an understatement. The traffic cops are on the prowl. I am irritated and hurt. I want to just cut the call but I tell him, "I have almost reached the hospital- I shall come back!"

And I do go back...

Return the damn phone.

MAke a U- turn from the gate itself.

Drive back.

Do we even think what is happening to the person we are interacting with when we are busy with our own problems? Do I think? Did he?

Each word we say, each glance we cast, each sentence we leave unsaid, each promise we break, each missed moment- can change lives. It does.

Perspective is always our own. Sometimes... we ought to donn someone else's looking glasses.