Living on an island of isolation is creating an existential black hole.

Living in a private world of your own is an extremely isolating experience. Each of us does have a private world inside our head. And then, we grow- physically, mentally and emotionally.

We begin to share our private world and include friends, lovers and family into it.
We begin to become a paradise of inclusion and shared living with many hued leaves and flowers, with multitude of scents and aromas.

There may still be nooks and crannies in this Garden of Eden that may remain private. These are few and far in between. And they are dark corners where, sometimes, we ourselves do not want to enter.

The sun of love can only shine into the garden if we drop the walls and break the fences. The flowers and the grass can grow only if we nurture them, water them, care for them and donot walk all over them when they are delicate tiny tendrils.

We must learn to communicate and include. Communication joins people and allows the sun to shine through. Loving in your own private world isolates. It breeds darkness and loneliness and cobwebs.

Even if one enjoys isolation, one cannot survive as an island of humanity. Even in the deepest of oceans, life that survives is either that which captures light from other sources or one that gives out light of its own.

Gravity, too attracts. Gravity holds people and even planets together. One does not experience negative gravity anywhere in the universe. It is a force that attracts and holds together anything and anybody that comes close enough. Light, and thoughts are the only two entities capable of escaping this private garden, and entering it at will.

Light- that we shine.
Thoughts- that we share.

If we refuse to share our thoughts and our light, we refuse growth. We refuse and reject the very purpose of our journey in this world. We are here for a reason. And that reason cannot be isolation and death. It has to be growth and eternity.

We do need to say and show what we want to be able to include people in our private gardens. These gardens can become beautiful only by including not excluding.

The only thing known to survive in the Universe in isolation is a black hole. And even a black hole allows entry... It has an immense gravitational force that attracts- and attracts EVERYTHING that comes close to it. A black hole is isolation is not on account of not allowing inclusion but actively excluding escape.And at the core of a black hole is Singularity where space and time merge and where everything ceases to exist - no time, no space, no light.

Finality. Death.

Till we are alive and vibrant, we take in and give out air; we take in and give out light; we take in and give out sound. We maintain a two directional flow of energy to and from our bodies, our private gardens.

When we begin to revel in not giving out, we can only become black holes. Not gardens of Eden in paradise of vibrant life.

Our Journal- I love...

Sanjay did it again! He impressed me! We wanted to do something more meaningful than TV with our Dinner time and came up with the idea that we would write and share what we wrote. We ALL wrote.

Our first topic was- I love... dated 17/5/10

Sanjay wrote-

I love me... but me is not just my individual self. Me is defined by my world around me- my family, my friends, my work etc. My work gives me an opportunity to do good to others, to serve and to make a difference in this world. It also provides for my and my family's needs. My family is what I have been and what I will be. It embodies love on a more perceptible plane. Friends denote fun and freedom and all the other things that I enjoy doing when I am not working or fulfilling my family commitments.

Strangely I also love all the difficulties I encounter in my path of living because it is these very difficulties that give happiness its true meaning.

I also love God.

And I wrote-

Along with 'time', 'love' must arguably be one of the most used words in English language. And, like time, we live it, feel it and have it intricately woven into the fabric of our life but we cannot define it!

I love... two very powerful words that can begin a cascade of feelings. I love my family, first and foremost. I am defined by them- mother, daughter, wife, sister- They are all the roles that give me the opportunity not only to love freely but also BE loved infinitely. I cannot imagine a life devoid of this contentment. Friends, too occupy an important place in this 'scheme' of my universe.

Moving away from the Animate and the highly animated, I will have to say, I LOVE BOOKS. At any given moment, I could be reading three to five books! One in the bathroom, one by the bed-side, one in the car for the red light stops, and one in the purse are quite the usual. Books transport me to another Universe- and bring alive possible alternate existences. It is as real a world that we live in, breathe in and can feel the texture of. Yet, it is a world that we cannot touch...

My being a doctor gives me a definite high feeling. It is a profession that allows me to interact with several people who are usually highly appreciative and fuel my innate need to be appreciated as an individual who makes a difference. I was once told by a friend that it is possible to love several people and things at the same time. I have since realised that to be a BIG truth.

Each new experience of love expands the heart to be able to take and give ever more...

Thank god for this blessed feeling in our lives...

Journaling for growth

Journaling is a process of self realisation, and subsequent inevitable growth.
It is an exercise to begin to understand our own internal workings.

We must be able to confidently address our own weaknesses and strengths. Our weaknesses allow us not only the means to growth but also to relate. Sometimes, in moments of utter despair and loneliness, we will look for a shoulder to lean on. And will lean only when we feel we can trust. All this requires maturity.

The initial topics to journal can be and should be simple. So, their appeal can be broad and surpassing age barriers. It is also nice to be able to find topics that can excite writing from both men (boys) and women (girls).

Sometimes, we would assume that jounaling is mostly done by girls and confuse it with dairy writing. We also assume, we will not be able to share what we write as it would be private and confidential. That comes much later.

And the best known journal writer is a man! Henry Thoreau! His journals were mainly composed of his observations about Nature- his travels and experiences. But that is not all his journals were. He also wrote about his hopes emotions and beliefs. That is where a Journal will offer anyone who is serious about Journal writing to find himself or herself. To grow. And identify traits that help us and the ones that deter us.

You need not write about yourself alone. You can write about religion, God, beliefs, about values you follow, about what you love and what you hate! And you need not share if you donot want to. But a good journal should EXPLORE and delve DEEP.

To begin with...

Start a Journal with- OBSERVE EVERYDAY THINGS AROUND YOU> NOTICE THINGS YOU OTHERWISE TAKE FOR GRANTED. Make a list that starts ,"I AM GRATEFUL FOR....
Write for 10 to 15 minutes. Free writing. This means you keep writing, mindless about the grammar or even the content of what you are writing. Usually you will follow or develop styles that are at least grammatically correct. You will initially THINK you cannot write for ten minutes at a stretch. Believe me, soon, this will look like too short a period of time. You must not make this into a CHORE THAT MUST BE DONE> You should try to make this into a fun thing you would like to look forward to each week day. Fix only one target entry a week. But make sure you write it.

Get yourself a nice notebook or journal to write on. Get yourself a nice pen to write with. Find and fix a corner that is yours. Some would like to have music in their corner, some would prefer quiet. Some would be able to write it only when alone and others will be able to write even in the cafe! Make it a ROUTINE. Your body and mind should gear to holding the pen to paper each time the clock strikes 6:00pm thursday evening ( For example!)

Once you are comfortable about doing it once a week, you could do it more often.

Next week, you could LOOK AT THE LIST YOU MADE LAST WEEK AND Write a 10 minute piece starting- This list surprises me because....

There are a lot of resources listed on the net about Journal writing. These are some of the prompts i liked and they fall into two broad categories- Journaling for understanding yourself and Journaling for Relationships

Self Understanding prompts

1. I really miss...
2. For my birthday I'd like....
3. I really wish....
4. Something few people realise about me is...
5. I dream that one day I will...
6. Some little things I FORGET to enjoy!
7. If I could live anywhere in the world, I would...
8. The hardest thing for me to do is...
9. I love...
10. What makes me feel proud is...

Relationship prompts

1. Teenage years can be...
2. Best friends are...
3. My best friend is...
4. In a good friend I look for...
5. I am a good friend because...
6. I hate it when someone says to me...
7. I love it when someone...
8. I get mad when...
9. i feel sad when...
10. I resent______________ because_________

Try starting with this.
Let me know what you are working on.
I'd love to be able to do it with you guys. I'll rope in my family, too.

We had started a Journal writing exercise that we thought we should share at dinner time. No TV. All of us, Dad, Mom and the children would share what we wrote. We came to a consensus topic for the day. We unfortunately, set ourselves a very ambitious target of everyday writing from the start.

We will start again. Once a week. And journal about the TV, too! Then, may be we, too can build it into more frequent write-ups.

We all wrote on--- I love...