Are we giving too much to our children? And how much is too much?
It seems like this was long time ago! However, our childhood is not so distant in the past as to be forgotten! We had one Black & White TV, ONE programme of movie songs on Wednesday, oONE cartoon over Sunday mornings and one Sunday evenings; oh! and not to forget the Sunday movie!!
There were some friends who did not have the TV sets- even B&W. This was not unusual. We, who had this 'luxury' looked forward with eagerness to the FEW attractions that TV offered. Now-a-days, the children have more than a hundred channels, running simulataneously, dedicated music channels and full time cartoon channels. Most children have access to the idiot box and cannot keep still even while watching. If they donot like a particular programme or even a part thereof, they can switch channels! And not one or two but tens or hundreds! Options are galore. Result? POOR ATTENTION SPANS!!! Children who watch too much TV see only three munutes worth of a programme before their mind is diverted by adverts. Translation? Concentration fleeting after three minutes of tasking!
Seemingly intelligent children have no value for all that they get so easily. It is not their fault! They have not earned it. We, the parents are largely to blame for how the children view life! In our home, my husband has a very clear rule- only one thing at a time- one desire fulfilled- one toy- one visit to McDonald's- one gift... Our children have learnt the meaning of prioritising. they know that they are going to get only one of their wants. They must choose what they want today... what is it that they can postpone? They learn the power of delayed gratification. When they get their desire after 2 or 3 or even 7 days, they enjoy it longer and value it more.
We let them make the payments for a toy sometimes- just so they also realise that they are paying for the joy they want.
Money does not buy everything but if we do not tetach our children the value of money- they will never be successful in life! We need to impart the value that money implies... not the mere paper... but the value we assign to anything by tagging it with money.
A desire fulfilled comes at a price... we all learn to pay the price.
Nothing comes free... not even the buy one - get one! Or the 20% extra!!!
We need to teach our children the meaning of CHOICES... value of DESIRES... contentment... LIVING!!!!!!!!!
Trapped!
Is the butterfly trapped in the pupa? Is the swan trapped in the ugly 'swanling'? Is the fly trapped in the web? Is a man trapped in a loveless marriage? Is a woman trapped in the many roles she takes on? Who is trapped? Who is on his way to actualisation? What is duty? What is meditation? What is life?
Is a man trapped in the race he did not choose... or even chose? The rat race can only bring a little cheese- not peace, definitely not love. The traps along the way in the rat race can hold the foot down in a vice like grip and tear the flesh away leaving sinews bare and bleeding. Is it worth the while living this trpped existence?
Any one who has a visible and tangible goal- has the potential to break free from the trap. Any one who feels love coursing through his or her veins can break free and LIVE. If your goal is to put your children on the path to glory then your own glory has no meaning and no value. If it is to make glory for yourself, then everything else may need to be 'sacrificed'. But sacrifice is itself a misnomer. A sacrifice implies giving up something of value for something which does not carry teh same value. And there can be no crime bigger than that in human existence. If you value yourself more than anything else in the world then being altruistic ahs no meaning. If you value others more tahn yourself, then you may not find peace in anything else than working for others.
Sacrifices are not a thing of the real world. These are what are labled so by teh onlookers because their values do not match the values they watch being enacted.
Time to break free from the trap- any trap presents itself often enough- we fail to recognise it!
Time to understand what you want from life is NOW- whenever you wake up!
Time to Work for your aim - your freedom is NOW- whenever you wake up!
Time to let love prevail is NOW- whenever you wake up!
IT IS TIME TO ESCAPE... THE TRAP!!!!!!!!
Is a man trapped in the race he did not choose... or even chose? The rat race can only bring a little cheese- not peace, definitely not love. The traps along the way in the rat race can hold the foot down in a vice like grip and tear the flesh away leaving sinews bare and bleeding. Is it worth the while living this trpped existence?
Any one who has a visible and tangible goal- has the potential to break free from the trap. Any one who feels love coursing through his or her veins can break free and LIVE. If your goal is to put your children on the path to glory then your own glory has no meaning and no value. If it is to make glory for yourself, then everything else may need to be 'sacrificed'. But sacrifice is itself a misnomer. A sacrifice implies giving up something of value for something which does not carry teh same value. And there can be no crime bigger than that in human existence. If you value yourself more than anything else in the world then being altruistic ahs no meaning. If you value others more tahn yourself, then you may not find peace in anything else than working for others.
Sacrifices are not a thing of the real world. These are what are labled so by teh onlookers because their values do not match the values they watch being enacted.
Time to break free from the trap- any trap presents itself often enough- we fail to recognise it!
Time to understand what you want from life is NOW- whenever you wake up!
Time to Work for your aim - your freedom is NOW- whenever you wake up!
Time to let love prevail is NOW- whenever you wake up!
IT IS TIME TO ESCAPE... THE TRAP!!!!!!!!
Is true love for real?
Let me start by saying- True love IS real. It is once in a life-time thing and can last a life-time.
In a country like ours, there are atleast as many marriages by matches as there probably are by catches. The ones by catches usually start off lovey- dovey and soon after, with the honeymoon period over fall into the rut of being together for the sake of it. Marriages by matches usually start off on a tentative note and very gradually grow into a gentle all-accepting love. Usually. The love maty not last and may not happen at all...
This is about spousal love. Love can be parental, child's, friend's... many types that go on to complete the meaning of life for any individual.True love is unconditional. It is a feeling of comfort in the storm- a place to rest your hurting head and heart when you seem to be going through a storm. It is the feeling of warmth when all else seems to be cold. It is an attachment that takes precedence in our life. True love does not have to forgiving- it sees nothing that needs to be forgiven.
However, as someone famous- perhaps Gandhi, has said," It takes courage to love and show it." Truly, the more we love, the more we leave ourselves open to hurt. Love never hurts- it is us and how we look at various things that happen love that cause the pain. So- it takes courage toshow our love. The power to hurt is not the power in the hands of the 'hurter' but in the heart of the 'hurting' lover. If one chose not to allow oneself to be hurt- one would not.
There would be times when we would hurt... simply because we feel unjustly judged or labled. Sometimes we all jump to conclusions without realising how damaging these are to the health of our relationships. Jumping to conclusions is not a good exercise- not for the heart and not for the head! Jump rope... not conclusions. It can hurt very deeply.
In all our relationships, there are those who love more and those who love less. Love cannot be measured- only felt. The magnitude is only a matter of perception. Often the one who loves more ends up being hurt more- though not necessarily. Love also forgets easily. It does not keep an account of all the slights and insults, percieved or real. It simply relishes each moment of togetherness... of love...
True love, conquers all...
Togetherness prevails...
Love lasts...
In a country like ours, there are atleast as many marriages by matches as there probably are by catches. The ones by catches usually start off lovey- dovey and soon after, with the honeymoon period over fall into the rut of being together for the sake of it. Marriages by matches usually start off on a tentative note and very gradually grow into a gentle all-accepting love. Usually. The love maty not last and may not happen at all...
This is about spousal love. Love can be parental, child's, friend's... many types that go on to complete the meaning of life for any individual.True love is unconditional. It is a feeling of comfort in the storm- a place to rest your hurting head and heart when you seem to be going through a storm. It is the feeling of warmth when all else seems to be cold. It is an attachment that takes precedence in our life. True love does not have to forgiving- it sees nothing that needs to be forgiven.
However, as someone famous- perhaps Gandhi, has said," It takes courage to love and show it." Truly, the more we love, the more we leave ourselves open to hurt. Love never hurts- it is us and how we look at various things that happen love that cause the pain. So- it takes courage toshow our love. The power to hurt is not the power in the hands of the 'hurter' but in the heart of the 'hurting' lover. If one chose not to allow oneself to be hurt- one would not.
There would be times when we would hurt... simply because we feel unjustly judged or labled. Sometimes we all jump to conclusions without realising how damaging these are to the health of our relationships. Jumping to conclusions is not a good exercise- not for the heart and not for the head! Jump rope... not conclusions. It can hurt very deeply.
In all our relationships, there are those who love more and those who love less. Love cannot be measured- only felt. The magnitude is only a matter of perception. Often the one who loves more ends up being hurt more- though not necessarily. Love also forgets easily. It does not keep an account of all the slights and insults, percieved or real. It simply relishes each moment of togetherness... of love...
True love, conquers all...
Togetherness prevails...
Love lasts...
A trip to Jim Corbet National Park
We have just spent the Holi weekend with two more families at the Corbet National Park. It promised to be a great trip with the expectation of coming face to face with a tiger... real... and really face to face.
There was an element of uncertainty in how the trip would be. We had never travelled with these families before. I was hoping it would be ok... I terribly needed a relaxed and laid back time. Tigers or not- I needed peace and quiet.
There are all kinds of people. Some who feel they are justified in holding their opinions and some who feel their opinions can be justified only when imposed on others. Sometimes those who care for us, try to accomodate our idiosyncracies and tolerate our moods. Sometimes, others simply get up and GO!
We started a little later than we should have- both my husband and I had a very busy Thursday and could not crash early enough into bed to be able to start at 7am. It probably started there. The Thursday night I had very clearly told the couple arranging the evhicle that I would appreciate 8 rather tahn 7 as we were both unlikely to be ab;le to make it that early. We still started at 7:30.
The weather had turned the day into a blazing inferno. The road to Corbet from Delhi was not one of the better roads... it all added to the moods in the bus. Volcanic anger just waiting to errupt and showing in hissing spurts the strength of teh fury. The other family was more accomodating and our children meshed well together, sharing a lot of interests. Our daughters are both singers and our sons are both budding singers. We palyed on the way. We slept on the way and ate and drank and made merry. There was a kind of holding back from Sam. He may have thought perhaps that the trip MUST be in accordance to a well laid out plan- his plan. Often in life, however, plans tend to show man his own folly in thinking he can do as he pleases! Truly! If you want to make God laugh... tell him your plans! Man proposes... God disposes was not said in vain. Everything happens to teach us a lesson.
We are a society that lives in harmony. Man is a social animal and needs company. He may choose to be part of it or try to be above it and try to make it behave in accordance with his wishes. Sometimes, in order to preserve what is of value to us, we may tolerate or ignore what may not be liked by us. At other times, we simply give up and decide we have had enough. When in a group, group dynamics can be healthy only if all members in the group respect each other and treat each other well. Group dynamics break down if any one tries to impose his will and have it accepted as the will of the group.
Well... unfortunately, we did not sight any tigers. We were disappointed. That was one way of looking at the scene. Another was- the children had a fabulous time. They bonded well. They made new friends. They enjoyed the company they were in and were not grumpy. The landscape was beautiful- the forest was dense and the river running by was picturesque. The forest gave me the opportunity to quieten my insides made noisy by everyday city life. Not a sound except the sound of tyres of our Gypsy on the dried leaves and twigs on the unmetalled road that the jungle safari took us on.
Suddenly it struck me just how much clatter and cacophony we allow in our lives in the city. Even the tubelights we switch on for spreading light spread more noise than we notice. Then the refrigerator, the clicking keys of the laptop that has become so much a part of our lives. Even the fan blades cutting the air are surprisingly noisy. All this chatter inside our heads can only make our insides restless! There was peace to be found here.
The sound of the river crashing on the rocks was amazingly soothing. There was none other.. only the water... only the water interacting with the wind and the rocks. This sound has always been special for me. The Holosynch CDs that I so love deliver similar sounds. There is something strangely surreal and powerful in the water sounds.
Then, the evening- children singing songs... some playing the keyboard. An evening of satisfied peace. Love and bliss. We slept well after the tiring safari and the relaxing music.
In the morning, when we woke we rea;lised we had been left behind and that part of the group had gone to the riverside for photography without as much as a knock on our door. WE still ignored it for the peace of teh group dynamics. We had photo sessions with the families and teh children... forgetting any slight- meant or felt.
The return journey did not turn out too well. Why do people give in to their anger and behave as if teh world owes them something? The world does not. Infact, if at all... one who loses his temper also loses his point!
We hope to make more such trips in the future... trips that show all of us a little of the follies we have and the strength we can garner to rise above them. Trips that can be enjoyed for themselves and for the company that we keep.
There was an element of uncertainty in how the trip would be. We had never travelled with these families before. I was hoping it would be ok... I terribly needed a relaxed and laid back time. Tigers or not- I needed peace and quiet.
There are all kinds of people. Some who feel they are justified in holding their opinions and some who feel their opinions can be justified only when imposed on others. Sometimes those who care for us, try to accomodate our idiosyncracies and tolerate our moods. Sometimes, others simply get up and GO!
We started a little later than we should have- both my husband and I had a very busy Thursday and could not crash early enough into bed to be able to start at 7am. It probably started there. The Thursday night I had very clearly told the couple arranging the evhicle that I would appreciate 8 rather tahn 7 as we were both unlikely to be ab;le to make it that early. We still started at 7:30.
The weather had turned the day into a blazing inferno. The road to Corbet from Delhi was not one of the better roads... it all added to the moods in the bus. Volcanic anger just waiting to errupt and showing in hissing spurts the strength of teh fury. The other family was more accomodating and our children meshed well together, sharing a lot of interests. Our daughters are both singers and our sons are both budding singers. We palyed on the way. We slept on the way and ate and drank and made merry. There was a kind of holding back from Sam. He may have thought perhaps that the trip MUST be in accordance to a well laid out plan- his plan. Often in life, however, plans tend to show man his own folly in thinking he can do as he pleases! Truly! If you want to make God laugh... tell him your plans! Man proposes... God disposes was not said in vain. Everything happens to teach us a lesson.
We are a society that lives in harmony. Man is a social animal and needs company. He may choose to be part of it or try to be above it and try to make it behave in accordance with his wishes. Sometimes, in order to preserve what is of value to us, we may tolerate or ignore what may not be liked by us. At other times, we simply give up and decide we have had enough. When in a group, group dynamics can be healthy only if all members in the group respect each other and treat each other well. Group dynamics break down if any one tries to impose his will and have it accepted as the will of the group.
Well... unfortunately, we did not sight any tigers. We were disappointed. That was one way of looking at the scene. Another was- the children had a fabulous time. They bonded well. They made new friends. They enjoyed the company they were in and were not grumpy. The landscape was beautiful- the forest was dense and the river running by was picturesque. The forest gave me the opportunity to quieten my insides made noisy by everyday city life. Not a sound except the sound of tyres of our Gypsy on the dried leaves and twigs on the unmetalled road that the jungle safari took us on.
Suddenly it struck me just how much clatter and cacophony we allow in our lives in the city. Even the tubelights we switch on for spreading light spread more noise than we notice. Then the refrigerator, the clicking keys of the laptop that has become so much a part of our lives. Even the fan blades cutting the air are surprisingly noisy. All this chatter inside our heads can only make our insides restless! There was peace to be found here.
The sound of the river crashing on the rocks was amazingly soothing. There was none other.. only the water... only the water interacting with the wind and the rocks. This sound has always been special for me. The Holosynch CDs that I so love deliver similar sounds. There is something strangely surreal and powerful in the water sounds.
Then, the evening- children singing songs... some playing the keyboard. An evening of satisfied peace. Love and bliss. We slept well after the tiring safari and the relaxing music.
In the morning, when we woke we rea;lised we had been left behind and that part of the group had gone to the riverside for photography without as much as a knock on our door. WE still ignored it for the peace of teh group dynamics. We had photo sessions with the families and teh children... forgetting any slight- meant or felt.
The return journey did not turn out too well. Why do people give in to their anger and behave as if teh world owes them something? The world does not. Infact, if at all... one who loses his temper also loses his point!
We hope to make more such trips in the future... trips that show all of us a little of the follies we have and the strength we can garner to rise above them. Trips that can be enjoyed for themselves and for the company that we keep.
Escape Velocity...
It is early morning. The breeze is crisp and the sun is not the summery blaze. I am not going for a morning stroll- I am already on my way to work! Going up the flyover slope - a lone car- I hit the speed of about eighty easily. Despite the rolled down windows, the day is quiet and clean. Am I in Delhi? Or have I escaped? At that speed on the way up, I get the distinct feeling of impending flight- that strange feeling in the pit of the stomach. It is a unique tightness that promises excitement- potential, even.
I am going to break away from gravity! And escape!
Then I stop. Escape? To what? From what?
What are we, as a mass of humanity running for? What are we running to? What is it that we are running from? Why the sense of urgency in needing to get there- somewhere very soon? Why do we not decide to slow down and BE here- now.
If we do slow down just a bit and take the time glance around us- we see with wondermnet the world that is a miracle. I am a miracle- you are a miracle. We all are! How come the combination of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen with nitrogen and phosphorus can manifest as you and me... and so many other things that may or may not be living!
What is it that makes us live- perform certain vital activitues? What is it that escapes this body leaving behind the same structural mass of carbon, oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen with phosphorus... devoid of the capacity to perform vital functions?
These are mysteries that man has yet to solve. The fact that we do not know the basis of thses ( and many more things in the universe around us does not change teh natureof teh universe. It only colours- a little- the way we percieve the world around us. Awareness changes the perspective- not the reality... if reality exists! In our mythology, all is Maya- mithya. An illusion.
Is it possible? To escape from illusion to reality? Is there a reality that si different from what we are living? Can science answer these questions?
Escape... to reality... to a better life...
I am going to break away from gravity! And escape!
Then I stop. Escape? To what? From what?
What are we, as a mass of humanity running for? What are we running to? What is it that we are running from? Why the sense of urgency in needing to get there- somewhere very soon? Why do we not decide to slow down and BE here- now.
If we do slow down just a bit and take the time glance around us- we see with wondermnet the world that is a miracle. I am a miracle- you are a miracle. We all are! How come the combination of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen with nitrogen and phosphorus can manifest as you and me... and so many other things that may or may not be living!
What is it that makes us live- perform certain vital activitues? What is it that escapes this body leaving behind the same structural mass of carbon, oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen with phosphorus... devoid of the capacity to perform vital functions?
These are mysteries that man has yet to solve. The fact that we do not know the basis of thses ( and many more things in the universe around us does not change teh natureof teh universe. It only colours- a little- the way we percieve the world around us. Awareness changes the perspective- not the reality... if reality exists! In our mythology, all is Maya- mithya. An illusion.
Is it possible? To escape from illusion to reality? Is there a reality that si different from what we are living? Can science answer these questions?
Escape... to reality... to a better life...
Reading can be an addiction!
I love to read. I can read newspapers, fiction, non-fiction, and even the back of an envelope or a shopping bag.
If my eyes spy a written word, my mind must register an image... I must read. I am truly a voracious reader. I have a book by my bed ( infact, if I really count- let me see- three magazines and two books, one more under my pillow, one in my office bag, one in the car ( for the red light spots!) and atleast two in the loo! I would be typically reading five books at any given time- and following all five very well. They would all be different categories or genres. And this does not include the reading I do for the children.
Can this be called an addiction? I cannot say. An addiction is an activity that is followed habitually and cessation of which causes severe trauma. I have no reason to think I have suffered any trauma when I have not had reading material. I tend to find it even in the menu card of Hotels. May be that is what I should do next. Collect unusual Menu Cards! the menu card of Ambassador coffee shop is one such- awesome! It had so much to read that the meal just flashed past me.
It is said that a house without a book is a house without a soul. Then, my house is a HOME with not one or two but many souls! Each room, including my kitchen and my bathroom have many souls! This can range from serious Objectivist philosophy of Ayn Rand ( BTW- I agree with her a hundred percent in Atlas Shrugged) or diehard Romanticism of Nicholas sparx. It could be the Five love languages of Dr Chapman or The Pengiun book of History of India. I have the Idiot's Guide to Hinduism as well as the basis of Islam. I have on my reading list the Egypt Code telling about the probable reason for the pyramids and the signed copies of her own books as gifts from a very dear friend (whom incidently I have not even met! and with whom I share my love of THE word.
Is this affecting my life in any way? Sure!!!
It makes me more relaxed at a red signal. I am not in a hurry, impatiently waiting for the signal to turn green so I can race to the next red light and start counting down to a green again. It is sometimes disappointing to have the signals all green- giving me no opportunity to read on the go!
I somehow have the feeling that there is so much to do and so little time to do it in! To see the world. To savour others' achievements. To feel complete with or without company. Books can never let me feel alone! They are easy to carry. They are never asleep. They are never busy. I can pick one up when I want to. They are not demanding. I might not pick one up for ages- yet when I do, and even if I don't, the book stays the same. They talk to each reader differently. It is up to the reader to talk to the book.
There are many people who read passively. Some people read actively. What a book says to me will be quite different from what it may say to my husband or my daughter. And an active reader will talk more and be talked more to, while reading a book.
Which is the last book I read? The six sacred stones by Matthew Reiley... absolutely stunning! It was a classical unputdownable. Fast paced and imaginative from the word go! I am waiting eagerly for the sequel... it was promised by the end of March!!! I have already bought the Seven Deadly wonders- the book that predates the six sacred...
A book that has had immense impact on me? Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I am not joking when I say that I read that book twenty nine times! I did. Fresh into College, I identified with the idealism and the treatment meted out to the Idealists in the book. Twenty nine times is how many times I read the book ENTIRELY... In parts, I read it many more uncountable number of times. Somehow, the other bestseller by her- Fountainhead that most people who read her like more... I did not like as much! I could not bring myself to justify destroying what you love so no one else can have it!
I have read lots by otherwise unknown authors and some by one book wonders. The Celestine Prophecy is by far the best book in the entire series by James Redfield. None of the books that follow do the first one justice. Similarly the depth and the innocence of Alchemist is unbeaten by any of his other titles. But these are my views... I am not judging any of these greats... only recollecting what each of these great books had to say to me. And how!
I could go on endlessly about my love for books... and reading...
I simply cannot resist a good read. With breakfast. In the coffee-house. In the bed.
If there is one habit I would love my children to acquire from me- it is the love of reading.
From all those who happen to read through to the end of these ramblings of a reader who has 'taken some time off to write' (!), I would love to hear what you are reading at the moment! Do you like it? What is the book saying to you?
I am reading ( among other books at the moment) Nadine Laman's Kathryn's Beach... a gentle, curl up in bed kind of read!
Hoping to hear from some of you!
Signing off for now!
If my eyes spy a written word, my mind must register an image... I must read. I am truly a voracious reader. I have a book by my bed ( infact, if I really count- let me see- three magazines and two books, one more under my pillow, one in my office bag, one in the car ( for the red light spots!) and atleast two in the loo! I would be typically reading five books at any given time- and following all five very well. They would all be different categories or genres. And this does not include the reading I do for the children.
Can this be called an addiction? I cannot say. An addiction is an activity that is followed habitually and cessation of which causes severe trauma. I have no reason to think I have suffered any trauma when I have not had reading material. I tend to find it even in the menu card of Hotels. May be that is what I should do next. Collect unusual Menu Cards! the menu card of Ambassador coffee shop is one such- awesome! It had so much to read that the meal just flashed past me.
It is said that a house without a book is a house without a soul. Then, my house is a HOME with not one or two but many souls! Each room, including my kitchen and my bathroom have many souls! This can range from serious Objectivist philosophy of Ayn Rand ( BTW- I agree with her a hundred percent in Atlas Shrugged) or diehard Romanticism of Nicholas sparx. It could be the Five love languages of Dr Chapman or The Pengiun book of History of India. I have the Idiot's Guide to Hinduism as well as the basis of Islam. I have on my reading list the Egypt Code telling about the probable reason for the pyramids and the signed copies of her own books as gifts from a very dear friend (whom incidently I have not even met! and with whom I share my love of THE word.
Is this affecting my life in any way? Sure!!!
It makes me more relaxed at a red signal. I am not in a hurry, impatiently waiting for the signal to turn green so I can race to the next red light and start counting down to a green again. It is sometimes disappointing to have the signals all green- giving me no opportunity to read on the go!
I somehow have the feeling that there is so much to do and so little time to do it in! To see the world. To savour others' achievements. To feel complete with or without company. Books can never let me feel alone! They are easy to carry. They are never asleep. They are never busy. I can pick one up when I want to. They are not demanding. I might not pick one up for ages- yet when I do, and even if I don't, the book stays the same. They talk to each reader differently. It is up to the reader to talk to the book.
There are many people who read passively. Some people read actively. What a book says to me will be quite different from what it may say to my husband or my daughter. And an active reader will talk more and be talked more to, while reading a book.
Which is the last book I read? The six sacred stones by Matthew Reiley... absolutely stunning! It was a classical unputdownable. Fast paced and imaginative from the word go! I am waiting eagerly for the sequel... it was promised by the end of March!!! I have already bought the Seven Deadly wonders- the book that predates the six sacred...
A book that has had immense impact on me? Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I am not joking when I say that I read that book twenty nine times! I did. Fresh into College, I identified with the idealism and the treatment meted out to the Idealists in the book. Twenty nine times is how many times I read the book ENTIRELY... In parts, I read it many more uncountable number of times. Somehow, the other bestseller by her- Fountainhead that most people who read her like more... I did not like as much! I could not bring myself to justify destroying what you love so no one else can have it!
I have read lots by otherwise unknown authors and some by one book wonders. The Celestine Prophecy is by far the best book in the entire series by James Redfield. None of the books that follow do the first one justice. Similarly the depth and the innocence of Alchemist is unbeaten by any of his other titles. But these are my views... I am not judging any of these greats... only recollecting what each of these great books had to say to me. And how!
I could go on endlessly about my love for books... and reading...
I simply cannot resist a good read. With breakfast. In the coffee-house. In the bed.
If there is one habit I would love my children to acquire from me- it is the love of reading.
From all those who happen to read through to the end of these ramblings of a reader who has 'taken some time off to write' (!), I would love to hear what you are reading at the moment! Do you like it? What is the book saying to you?
I am reading ( among other books at the moment) Nadine Laman's Kathryn's Beach... a gentle, curl up in bed kind of read!
Hoping to hear from some of you!
Signing off for now!
Anger management
Anger has been defined by the Webster's as "strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by real or supposed wrong".
Stop. Think. Think about all parts of that definition- strong feelings, displeasure, belligerence, real or supposed wrong. Who do you most express your anger with/ on? Would you get angry and scream at your boss? At that man in the office who is forever wasting your time? That woman, maybe, who steals your ideas and your credit? Oh! and how can we forget that driver in front of you who does not get the hell out of your way when you are in a hurry.
However, you may be one of those ordinary mortals who scream most when at home and have an air-hostess-smile for outsiders. If you scream outside- you are out of control, you have a problem, you need help etc.. etc... If you scream at home- it is justified. You are only wanting the best for your children, you have been genuinely hurt by your spouse etc... etc...
I have often thought about this myself. A few of my friends, including me- are exemplary mothers. Excruciatingly patient with our children (especially in company) and fully committed to their bright future. Do we not lose sight of the present? This wonderful advert about some insurance company portrays it very beautifully... Aaj khelo- kal to bade hona hi hai! Play today- you have to grow up tomorrow.
Why is it that the games that mark the childhood glee and joy must end with adulthood? Why must the laughter be replaced by angry, glum mindset? Why must we be in a hurry to grow up and become centres of pressure and anger in our own areas of influence. Why can we not expand our circle of influence and grow with it?
My son woke up in the middle of the night and asked for me. Running to his side I gently enquired of him whether he needed something. A deep-seated reflex- activated despite the sleep. Our children love us so unconditionally! Can we not offer the same quality of love and commitment to them. We may justify our anger and claim it is for their good that we get angry. Sometimes it is, however, a feeling of complete helplessness that makes us lose it. We really cannot do it any better! So... get angry...
Would I talk to a person who screamed at me the way I sometimes do with my kids? Probably not. But they still run to me with open arms- still hug me with all their strength- still want me with all their might. Do not get me wrong here. I do not get angry all the time. I do not even get angry for a long time. I feel I need to, once in a while, exercise this option when the children do not listen.
I have decided today- I must find myself another strategy. Scream free parenting need not be about books and manuals offering unfollowable advice. I hit upopn the gold pot today. Bring you voice DOWN a decibel rather than going up. Believe me- I have tried it. It works.
The only thing needed out of good parenting is to be good! Our children will have enough friends- we have to be parents which is a big responsibility. It needs strong shouldres and a stronger heart to be a good parent. It takes consistency and commitment to be a good parent. It takes a life-time of understanding and empathy to be a good parent.
It nees US to be GOOD to be good parents... and human beings... are we ready for it?
Stop. Think. Think about all parts of that definition- strong feelings, displeasure, belligerence, real or supposed wrong. Who do you most express your anger with/ on? Would you get angry and scream at your boss? At that man in the office who is forever wasting your time? That woman, maybe, who steals your ideas and your credit? Oh! and how can we forget that driver in front of you who does not get the hell out of your way when you are in a hurry.
However, you may be one of those ordinary mortals who scream most when at home and have an air-hostess-smile for outsiders. If you scream outside- you are out of control, you have a problem, you need help etc.. etc... If you scream at home- it is justified. You are only wanting the best for your children, you have been genuinely hurt by your spouse etc... etc...
I have often thought about this myself. A few of my friends, including me- are exemplary mothers. Excruciatingly patient with our children (especially in company) and fully committed to their bright future. Do we not lose sight of the present? This wonderful advert about some insurance company portrays it very beautifully... Aaj khelo- kal to bade hona hi hai! Play today- you have to grow up tomorrow.
Why is it that the games that mark the childhood glee and joy must end with adulthood? Why must the laughter be replaced by angry, glum mindset? Why must we be in a hurry to grow up and become centres of pressure and anger in our own areas of influence. Why can we not expand our circle of influence and grow with it?
My son woke up in the middle of the night and asked for me. Running to his side I gently enquired of him whether he needed something. A deep-seated reflex- activated despite the sleep. Our children love us so unconditionally! Can we not offer the same quality of love and commitment to them. We may justify our anger and claim it is for their good that we get angry. Sometimes it is, however, a feeling of complete helplessness that makes us lose it. We really cannot do it any better! So... get angry...
Would I talk to a person who screamed at me the way I sometimes do with my kids? Probably not. But they still run to me with open arms- still hug me with all their strength- still want me with all their might. Do not get me wrong here. I do not get angry all the time. I do not even get angry for a long time. I feel I need to, once in a while, exercise this option when the children do not listen.
I have decided today- I must find myself another strategy. Scream free parenting need not be about books and manuals offering unfollowable advice. I hit upopn the gold pot today. Bring you voice DOWN a decibel rather than going up. Believe me- I have tried it. It works.
The only thing needed out of good parenting is to be good! Our children will have enough friends- we have to be parents which is a big responsibility. It needs strong shouldres and a stronger heart to be a good parent. It takes consistency and commitment to be a good parent. It takes a life-time of understanding and empathy to be a good parent.
It nees US to be GOOD to be good parents... and human beings... are we ready for it?
Chak de?
In the last eighty years we have never failed to qualify for the Olympics. National shame. India trounced by Great Britain. Screaming headlines are shocking us out of stupor. We are, however, a nation so deep in slumber we refuse to be woken up by cacophonous, ear-splitting clamour right in front of our ears.
The day before that the resounding victory of the same team against Chile went totally unnoticed. It is true that in life, most good things are like being a good goal-keeper. The ones you save are a part of your job profile. No matter how good the saves, it is the single miss that will make all the difference.
What will it take to wake us up as a nation?
A Chake De comes along and makes us all want to rise and cheer. Perpetual underdogs who rise and win... What happens to the losing players? Who do we 'target'? And what do we as a nation feel, and do? We have always made the mistake of taking the wood for the forest and not tackling the root problems ailing the systems.
We look for scapegoats. We want to fix the blame and feel we have fixed the problem. We hang a few and assume the lot to follow will be different. And then, we expose the fresh crop to the same root-rot that killed the previous crop.
Sports shows it very clearly. The same malady is slowly, but surely, killing our schools and educational institutions, our government and our judiciary and enforcement agencies... everywhere that we turn, we find termite laden walls ready to fall- bravely holding up against storms... but for how long?
Taking moral responsibility for a debacle like the Santiago disaster and resigning is all very noble- but does it solve any problems? Is anyone really listening? And what of the KPSs who donot resign? They will rule with an iron fist and smash every skull that rises against that fist. Iron fists and the rest of the weaponry are good to tackle terrorists but these cannot be used to terrorise sportsmen! Anyway- we do not have a track record to be proud of when handling terrorism.
What make some office bearers hang their heads in shame and some hold them so high that they refuse to see the ground reality?
Long ago in class XI, I had read a poem- We, the people... it talked of how "we, the people fight wars, succumb, spill blood, win or lose... and... forget." It also mentioned that these maladies can be cured only when We the people LEARN TO REMEMBER!
We, Indians, have a very short memory. We see a movie like Chak De- cheer the winning team, shed a few tears when they lose and- we forget.
It is time for us to remember... to remember to remember...
The day before that the resounding victory of the same team against Chile went totally unnoticed. It is true that in life, most good things are like being a good goal-keeper. The ones you save are a part of your job profile. No matter how good the saves, it is the single miss that will make all the difference.
What will it take to wake us up as a nation?
A Chake De comes along and makes us all want to rise and cheer. Perpetual underdogs who rise and win... What happens to the losing players? Who do we 'target'? And what do we as a nation feel, and do? We have always made the mistake of taking the wood for the forest and not tackling the root problems ailing the systems.
We look for scapegoats. We want to fix the blame and feel we have fixed the problem. We hang a few and assume the lot to follow will be different. And then, we expose the fresh crop to the same root-rot that killed the previous crop.
Sports shows it very clearly. The same malady is slowly, but surely, killing our schools and educational institutions, our government and our judiciary and enforcement agencies... everywhere that we turn, we find termite laden walls ready to fall- bravely holding up against storms... but for how long?
Taking moral responsibility for a debacle like the Santiago disaster and resigning is all very noble- but does it solve any problems? Is anyone really listening? And what of the KPSs who donot resign? They will rule with an iron fist and smash every skull that rises against that fist. Iron fists and the rest of the weaponry are good to tackle terrorists but these cannot be used to terrorise sportsmen! Anyway- we do not have a track record to be proud of when handling terrorism.
What make some office bearers hang their heads in shame and some hold them so high that they refuse to see the ground reality?
Long ago in class XI, I had read a poem- We, the people... it talked of how "we, the people fight wars, succumb, spill blood, win or lose... and... forget." It also mentioned that these maladies can be cured only when We the people LEARN TO REMEMBER!
We, Indians, have a very short memory. We see a movie like Chak De- cheer the winning team, shed a few tears when they lose and- we forget.
It is time for us to remember... to remember to remember...
Delhi can learn a lesson from Pokhara
I have spent some of the best time of my life in this quaint laid back town in the foothills of Annapurna Range in Nepal.
As a country Nepal has a long way to go before it can be called by any name other than developing or even underdeveloped. However, one has to admire a few things about Nepal that probably would put a Giant like India or even the US to shame!
We used to wake by 6:00 am... WITHOUT the alarm! Have a "healthy" breakfast- usually cereal, juice and milk with tea/ coffee and be ready after a good leisurelu bath by eight. This included our daughte who was barely two at that time.
The place starts early. As early as six, one would find some shops, including stationers or shoe stores, opening shutter. With sun down, most of the city would prepare to either 'enjoy' their drink or sleep off to prepare for the next day.
After a full day's work at the Eye Hospital, an evening class for the junior doctors, a journal club with the consultants AND a session on the internet to stay in touch with the rest of the world, my husband used to still be back home by six or six thirty in the evening! Having had a coffee with some snacks we would set off- long walks by the lake-side or in the foothills or even in the gorge or dam area... we could go on and explore and not tire of it. This was, ofcourse our fascination with the natural wonder of this geologically diverse land. This unique place had a deep gorge and a free flowing river, a high snow covered mountain peak and a lush green valley, flat lands with grasses as far as the eye can see and brown dusty desert in the other direction. The diversity of the goegraphy had us spell-bound.
The lake-side offered us with big and small Eateries and the particularly good German Bakery whenever we needed to tank up. There were well laid out 'shops' that seemed to be the precursors of malls. Extraordinarily, Pokhara had more book and music shops by the lakeside than Delhi's central business district! And well stocked, too! This may have been the result of the tourist influx... nevertheless, Pokhara offered whatever needed from my life at that time.
It was the administration of this quaint township that impressed us...
The city is divided into zones and each zone has a prefixed and well announced loadshedding time. Sure, Municipal Corporations divide Zones for governance. This was a newe take on admin for us. We stayed in the 'District' that would be dark from 6-9 on Thursday. We could plan to go to the Lakeside which would be shedding on Monday or to the Eye Hospital that would be dark on Monday. these days were fixed. Thes times were fixed. People did not mind the shedding, infact planned their life around it!
This not only saved power for the city, it also promoted conservation.
Delhi is a world city with all amenities for whoever can afford it. It is much easier to be staying in South Zone than in the North or the West or even the East. It is better to be in Delhi than in NCR. However, we, as citizens, can do nothing but seethe for service not delivered or delivered with a scowl or any variation there off.
We, in this global city, do not have a load shedding schedule that we could follow. The power cuts are random, not evenly distributed over the entire state and infact, may not trouble a sector simply because it houses the affluent or the babus of the government. These areas may infact be the highest consumers of the power!
There are areas here in Delhi- NCR that go without electricity for upto ten hours a day! Randomly. Senselessly. If we call the help line numbers, no information is forthcoming.
Can we take a lesson from better managed towns and think of something similar for Delhi?
As a country Nepal has a long way to go before it can be called by any name other than developing or even underdeveloped. However, one has to admire a few things about Nepal that probably would put a Giant like India or even the US to shame!
We used to wake by 6:00 am... WITHOUT the alarm! Have a "healthy" breakfast- usually cereal, juice and milk with tea/ coffee and be ready after a good leisurelu bath by eight. This included our daughte who was barely two at that time.
The place starts early. As early as six, one would find some shops, including stationers or shoe stores, opening shutter. With sun down, most of the city would prepare to either 'enjoy' their drink or sleep off to prepare for the next day.
After a full day's work at the Eye Hospital, an evening class for the junior doctors, a journal club with the consultants AND a session on the internet to stay in touch with the rest of the world, my husband used to still be back home by six or six thirty in the evening! Having had a coffee with some snacks we would set off- long walks by the lake-side or in the foothills or even in the gorge or dam area... we could go on and explore and not tire of it. This was, ofcourse our fascination with the natural wonder of this geologically diverse land. This unique place had a deep gorge and a free flowing river, a high snow covered mountain peak and a lush green valley, flat lands with grasses as far as the eye can see and brown dusty desert in the other direction. The diversity of the goegraphy had us spell-bound.
The lake-side offered us with big and small Eateries and the particularly good German Bakery whenever we needed to tank up. There were well laid out 'shops' that seemed to be the precursors of malls. Extraordinarily, Pokhara had more book and music shops by the lakeside than Delhi's central business district! And well stocked, too! This may have been the result of the tourist influx... nevertheless, Pokhara offered whatever needed from my life at that time.
It was the administration of this quaint township that impressed us...
The city is divided into zones and each zone has a prefixed and well announced loadshedding time. Sure, Municipal Corporations divide Zones for governance. This was a newe take on admin for us. We stayed in the 'District' that would be dark from 6-9 on Thursday. We could plan to go to the Lakeside which would be shedding on Monday or to the Eye Hospital that would be dark on Monday. these days were fixed. Thes times were fixed. People did not mind the shedding, infact planned their life around it!
This not only saved power for the city, it also promoted conservation.
Delhi is a world city with all amenities for whoever can afford it. It is much easier to be staying in South Zone than in the North or the West or even the East. It is better to be in Delhi than in NCR. However, we, as citizens, can do nothing but seethe for service not delivered or delivered with a scowl or any variation there off.
We, in this global city, do not have a load shedding schedule that we could follow. The power cuts are random, not evenly distributed over the entire state and infact, may not trouble a sector simply because it houses the affluent or the babus of the government. These areas may infact be the highest consumers of the power!
There are areas here in Delhi- NCR that go without electricity for upto ten hours a day! Randomly. Senselessly. If we call the help line numbers, no information is forthcoming.
Can we take a lesson from better managed towns and think of something similar for Delhi?
This is not a story...
This is not a story. The words that follow, however, do tell the tragic tale of a young child.
A few days ago, a desperate man carrying a four year old boy came to show the boy to me. He was shattered. His son was unusually quiet for a four year old. This gentle and troubled man was trying to figure out how on earth God above could do this to him?! How could God subject his innocent child to this... this...
He lives in Haldwani. The gentle hills and pleasant weather transform an ordinary existence into a life in paradise. Four years ago, when he was blessed with a healthy baby boy, he was overjoyed. This thin and lean man who works with the local police force and is known to be one of the gentlest officers on the Force. He is God fearing and prayer is a part of his daily life just as breathing and bathing... both, unconscious and intentional.
Each milestone that his son achieved was a source of joy to this simple man. Quite aptly, he named the boy Harsh... joy... The first lisping words were recorded on this committed father's memory, the first tottering steps made him instinctively reach out and hug his son tight.
Now his wife was expecting their second child. Things would get a little difficult. Both children would love and caring in equal measure. Infact, the older child would need more from him as the mother would get busy caring for the new-born baby. Life was bliss...
Kya huaa?! What happened to this heaven on earth? To this paradise? Kya apni nazar lag gai? Was it his own doing? Had he been less than grateful to Almighty for his good fortune? Had he been lacking somewhere?
Harsh was not well- he seemed to be going through a routine childhood viral fever; but was more sick than 'routine' illnesses could affect a child. There being no doctors around, his father found out from a local chemist if he could give anything to his ailing son. The Chemist obliged.
By now Harsh was unable to step off the bed. The minute he put his feet on the floor, he fell- unable to balance himself. He also complained of unbearable noise in his ears. everyone thought that Harsh was sick and would recover soon. It did not occur to anyone to seek an Ear specialist's opinion. Nobody thought anything special needed to be done. No one knew what to do. In retrospect- valuable time was ticking away. Had the child been brought to expert medical care of a trained ENT Surgeon, the story line would have been different!
Within three days, Harsh's world had been transformed. His fever came down. He was no longer dizzy. There was no noise in his ears... and... no sound, too... Now there was complete silence. The child's hearing nerves had been attacked by the virus and had succumbed.
Harsh. four years, who had been playing with local lads and running in the foothills less than a week ago; laughing and jumping - now had become deaf. How could this happen?
I saw the child- fair of skin and healthy in body, in his fathers arms. He was looking frail and fragile. He kept watching- waiting for some sound to penetrate the silence he had been thrown into. There was nothing.
I cried... I have a son who is four years old. I cried... I needed to do something- anything for him. A cochlear Implant- an electronic devise that can function as the ear would need to be implanted into this tiny skull. He could hear. He would.
However, a single implant costs lakhs. Where would the money come from?
How would the parents manage the rigorous post implant speech rehabillitation... with the new baby in their arms... how would they divide their time between the two children?
No easy answers here. A lot of difficult questions. Hopefully, we will be able to find the answers with the family. Hopefully Harsh will be well again. Hopefully Harsh will hear again. Hopefully Harsh will be harshit ( joyous) once more...
Hopefully...
Hopefully...
A few days ago, a desperate man carrying a four year old boy came to show the boy to me. He was shattered. His son was unusually quiet for a four year old. This gentle and troubled man was trying to figure out how on earth God above could do this to him?! How could God subject his innocent child to this... this...
He lives in Haldwani. The gentle hills and pleasant weather transform an ordinary existence into a life in paradise. Four years ago, when he was blessed with a healthy baby boy, he was overjoyed. This thin and lean man who works with the local police force and is known to be one of the gentlest officers on the Force. He is God fearing and prayer is a part of his daily life just as breathing and bathing... both, unconscious and intentional.
Each milestone that his son achieved was a source of joy to this simple man. Quite aptly, he named the boy Harsh... joy... The first lisping words were recorded on this committed father's memory, the first tottering steps made him instinctively reach out and hug his son tight.
Now his wife was expecting their second child. Things would get a little difficult. Both children would love and caring in equal measure. Infact, the older child would need more from him as the mother would get busy caring for the new-born baby. Life was bliss...
Kya huaa?! What happened to this heaven on earth? To this paradise? Kya apni nazar lag gai? Was it his own doing? Had he been less than grateful to Almighty for his good fortune? Had he been lacking somewhere?
Harsh was not well- he seemed to be going through a routine childhood viral fever; but was more sick than 'routine' illnesses could affect a child. There being no doctors around, his father found out from a local chemist if he could give anything to his ailing son. The Chemist obliged.
By now Harsh was unable to step off the bed. The minute he put his feet on the floor, he fell- unable to balance himself. He also complained of unbearable noise in his ears. everyone thought that Harsh was sick and would recover soon. It did not occur to anyone to seek an Ear specialist's opinion. Nobody thought anything special needed to be done. No one knew what to do. In retrospect- valuable time was ticking away. Had the child been brought to expert medical care of a trained ENT Surgeon, the story line would have been different!
Within three days, Harsh's world had been transformed. His fever came down. He was no longer dizzy. There was no noise in his ears... and... no sound, too... Now there was complete silence. The child's hearing nerves had been attacked by the virus and had succumbed.
Harsh. four years, who had been playing with local lads and running in the foothills less than a week ago; laughing and jumping - now had become deaf. How could this happen?
I saw the child- fair of skin and healthy in body, in his fathers arms. He was looking frail and fragile. He kept watching- waiting for some sound to penetrate the silence he had been thrown into. There was nothing.
I cried... I have a son who is four years old. I cried... I needed to do something- anything for him. A cochlear Implant- an electronic devise that can function as the ear would need to be implanted into this tiny skull. He could hear. He would.
However, a single implant costs lakhs. Where would the money come from?
How would the parents manage the rigorous post implant speech rehabillitation... with the new baby in their arms... how would they divide their time between the two children?
No easy answers here. A lot of difficult questions. Hopefully, we will be able to find the answers with the family. Hopefully Harsh will be well again. Hopefully Harsh will hear again. Hopefully Harsh will be harshit ( joyous) once more...
Hopefully...
Hopefully...
Most of us live like islands
Sometimes we live our lives in a very insular manner. Insulating ourselves from all externals. This is quite like a closed room with a lot of glass windows. We may allow the light in- we cannot keep everything out; but we trap the warmth. This heats up the interiors, sometimes intolerably so.
It is all a question of the wavelength!
Have you ever entered a car parked in a sunny lot? Even half an hour heats up the car. And... then... change the weather outside. Let there be a downpour. You can see Nature's joy and ecstacy pouring down in a torrential series of exclaimation marks! Each drop lengthens till it contracts again to fall on the parched earth.
Have you ever seen a rain drop trace a question mark? Not unless it falls on a puddle of oil. And then, it leaves streaks of colour, vibrant and alive and ever-changing in the falling light. These colours further remind us of how beautiful life can really be.
Everything in Nature is interconnected- animate and even inanimate. Even if we try, being people islands does not work out. The energy must form an unbroken chain and continue to circulate. We must give freely... and recieve gracefully.
If we close ourselves to recieving but continue to give, we will soon deplete ourselves. Similarly if we donot recieve, what will we have to pass on? This flow makes competition unnecessary. It makes harmony a natural outcome of any logical relationship!
Open the windows... let some fresh air in. Recieve the light and release the heat. Grow. Help others grow. Love and share. Chlorophyll, the central pigment of life also cannot act in the absence of both light and air.
Moreover, the closed room will only build more and more carbondioxide! We are not able to totally contain and isolate a space... the oxygen of love comes smiling in reminding us of joy and life.
It is all a question of the wavelength!
Have you ever entered a car parked in a sunny lot? Even half an hour heats up the car. And... then... change the weather outside. Let there be a downpour. You can see Nature's joy and ecstacy pouring down in a torrential series of exclaimation marks! Each drop lengthens till it contracts again to fall on the parched earth.
Have you ever seen a rain drop trace a question mark? Not unless it falls on a puddle of oil. And then, it leaves streaks of colour, vibrant and alive and ever-changing in the falling light. These colours further remind us of how beautiful life can really be.
Everything in Nature is interconnected- animate and even inanimate. Even if we try, being people islands does not work out. The energy must form an unbroken chain and continue to circulate. We must give freely... and recieve gracefully.
If we close ourselves to recieving but continue to give, we will soon deplete ourselves. Similarly if we donot recieve, what will we have to pass on? This flow makes competition unnecessary. It makes harmony a natural outcome of any logical relationship!
Open the windows... let some fresh air in. Recieve the light and release the heat. Grow. Help others grow. Love and share. Chlorophyll, the central pigment of life also cannot act in the absence of both light and air.
Moreover, the closed room will only build more and more carbondioxide! We are not able to totally contain and isolate a space... the oxygen of love comes smiling in reminding us of joy and life.
When does a child begin to write?
My son was admitted to school when he was 4-. He had to go to school about a year sooner than he would have had it not been for the Ganguly Committee report and recommendations. He was placed with the children who were atleast six months older than him.
His teacher's constant refrain to me," Mrs.XYZ, please treat this seriously! Your son is easily the most intelligent child in my class. But he is so moody! When he refuses to write- he simply refuses. I can sit with him for an hour or two or three... he will not write! Please make him write!" This is coming from a teacher teaching ( AND trained to do so) nursery children. I reply, quite nonchallantly," Yes, ABC, he is intelligent and understands far more than you would expect from a child his age. However, motor development proceeds along certain predefined milestones. He does not even know how to hold a pencil! Teach him that before you expect him to write." I teach him precisely that. I do not worry that there are children in the class ( who are incidently 6 to twelve months older than him!) who can and do write.
Have you seen a child attending normal school who is not able to form the lettering by the time he is in class 1 or 2? In this case we are not even talking about the ability to spell correctly- only form the letters.
Language aquisition must follow milestones. Each has to be achieved before the journey can go further. There may be some overlap, but the milestones cannot be sequenced differently. A child has to first and foremost LISTEN. Then he/ she begins to experiment with sounds and starts to SPEAK. When parents and care-givers talk in baby-talk, the child develops faulty speech. Typical of many Indian families," Ale Mela Beta!" We are setting the child up for a 'r'/ 'l' substitution. 'r' sound, in any case, is a sound that is difficult and gets established as late as 4 or 5. After having the LISTEN-SPEAK in place, the child begins LETTER RECOGNITION or PRE-READING. It is only after beginning to recognise lettering can a child logically move on to WRITING.
Preschool and nursery should logically prepare a child for the task ahead- writing readiness. This means the child must be taught how to hold the pencil. This has to be taught with love and patience. The little one must be given crayons to play with and have a splash of colours on their sheet. Once the grip of the colours is well-established, the little hands may be given the stylus. Even so, finger tapping exercises, thumb- to middle-finger-dance and even the simple wave help the child develop motor-readiness to hold the pencil and rush headlong into the world of the written word.
At this point, the product of this effort is NOT important. The only thing important at this time is the grip AND the motivation of putting the pencil to paper.
Some of the good schools in Delhi 'teach' children without having any plans or programmes in place. Sad. This could affect the tender children adversely- very adversely.
A few years ago, the competitive world opened its jaws to swallow the parents who wanted to boast of children who could do this, that and everything else. The only problem with the situation was that the parents were holding on tight to their children's tiny hands. The world swallowed the children, too!
From nursery, the children came down to pre-nursery and play-school began when they had barely begun to find their feet. Some children began preschool before they even turned two! However, was it really play?
Some of the good playschools, fortunately, were working according to the play-way and teaching with fun and games. In these schools, letter recognition preceded letter formation. Letter formation was taught in a sequence that helped the child develop fine motor skills. These children wrote first a 'c', followed it with an 'o' and then an 'a'. It was only after they were comfortable with these that they moved on to 'b' and 'd'.
All the while the children sang and danced and used their hands and fingers in little gestures to promote development of motor control required to write. My daughter was lucky to be in such a school. Thank you, 'The Study'!
This is much better than and much more than what I am seeing in formal schools. I wish I could make a difference to other children. I feel saddened by the pressure other mothers feel when the teachers begin complaining. I only want to say, "Hold on, Mums! They will all get there. Follow your heart. Do what feels right for you and for the child."
And if you cannot understand all this- think- and watch- Taare Zameen par! Not for dyslexia. Not for acting. Not for story line. Only to see how a child- any child MUST be allowed to flower and grow without being smothered!
Happy Mothering!
His teacher's constant refrain to me," Mrs.XYZ, please treat this seriously! Your son is easily the most intelligent child in my class. But he is so moody! When he refuses to write- he simply refuses. I can sit with him for an hour or two or three... he will not write! Please make him write!" This is coming from a teacher teaching ( AND trained to do so) nursery children. I reply, quite nonchallantly," Yes, ABC, he is intelligent and understands far more than you would expect from a child his age. However, motor development proceeds along certain predefined milestones. He does not even know how to hold a pencil! Teach him that before you expect him to write." I teach him precisely that. I do not worry that there are children in the class ( who are incidently 6 to twelve months older than him!) who can and do write.
Have you seen a child attending normal school who is not able to form the lettering by the time he is in class 1 or 2? In this case we are not even talking about the ability to spell correctly- only form the letters.
Language aquisition must follow milestones. Each has to be achieved before the journey can go further. There may be some overlap, but the milestones cannot be sequenced differently. A child has to first and foremost LISTEN. Then he/ she begins to experiment with sounds and starts to SPEAK. When parents and care-givers talk in baby-talk, the child develops faulty speech. Typical of many Indian families," Ale Mela Beta!" We are setting the child up for a 'r'/ 'l' substitution. 'r' sound, in any case, is a sound that is difficult and gets established as late as 4 or 5. After having the LISTEN-SPEAK in place, the child begins LETTER RECOGNITION or PRE-READING. It is only after beginning to recognise lettering can a child logically move on to WRITING.
Preschool and nursery should logically prepare a child for the task ahead- writing readiness. This means the child must be taught how to hold the pencil. This has to be taught with love and patience. The little one must be given crayons to play with and have a splash of colours on their sheet. Once the grip of the colours is well-established, the little hands may be given the stylus. Even so, finger tapping exercises, thumb- to middle-finger-dance and even the simple wave help the child develop motor-readiness to hold the pencil and rush headlong into the world of the written word.
At this point, the product of this effort is NOT important. The only thing important at this time is the grip AND the motivation of putting the pencil to paper.
Some of the good schools in Delhi 'teach' children without having any plans or programmes in place. Sad. This could affect the tender children adversely- very adversely.
A few years ago, the competitive world opened its jaws to swallow the parents who wanted to boast of children who could do this, that and everything else. The only problem with the situation was that the parents were holding on tight to their children's tiny hands. The world swallowed the children, too!
From nursery, the children came down to pre-nursery and play-school began when they had barely begun to find their feet. Some children began preschool before they even turned two! However, was it really play?
Some of the good playschools, fortunately, were working according to the play-way and teaching with fun and games. In these schools, letter recognition preceded letter formation. Letter formation was taught in a sequence that helped the child develop fine motor skills. These children wrote first a 'c', followed it with an 'o' and then an 'a'. It was only after they were comfortable with these that they moved on to 'b' and 'd'.
All the while the children sang and danced and used their hands and fingers in little gestures to promote development of motor control required to write. My daughter was lucky to be in such a school. Thank you, 'The Study'!
This is much better than and much more than what I am seeing in formal schools. I wish I could make a difference to other children. I feel saddened by the pressure other mothers feel when the teachers begin complaining. I only want to say, "Hold on, Mums! They will all get there. Follow your heart. Do what feels right for you and for the child."
And if you cannot understand all this- think- and watch- Taare Zameen par! Not for dyslexia. Not for acting. Not for story line. Only to see how a child- any child MUST be allowed to flower and grow without being smothered!
Happy Mothering!
Life is a game.
Have you ever played a computer game? If you are like my husband- you probably would not have. You have missed something in life!
One of my very close friends does not play to win! She plays to unwind and destress. When asked if why she plays mindlessly, she replies," If I have to put my mind to it- why play!?"
I am different. I play to keep alert. I make the ordinary games more challenging by setting myself some targets that must be achieved at certain times along the course of the game... in a certain well planned way. If I am playing freecell, for example, I want every final column to start with the K card. I also want these columns to be single file... no column space in between or alternate column space in between or one red one bpack column etc. Just that little bit more difficult! My mind keeps thinking the best way to do it. Strategy. Execution. Challenge.
Don't you wish life could be like a computer game? Did you make a mistake? Why worry? Undo! Do you feel you took the losing track? No issues! Restart! And if you are really stuck in a situation but want to continue to play- you still have the option of 'New game!' Just change the game!
In life, however, we have to keep walking on the path we chose. We must go on and bear the consequence of our actions- good or bad- no getting away from it.
We may make a bad decision and that single bad decision will definitely keep rearing its ugly head even if we try to forget. There is as yet no Undo button in our life. The closest that one may come to an undo button is a sincere apology. No matter how close you are or how you feel everything was or was not justified... that is the only undo option you have. And yet it is not used very often and when used it is seldom meant.
When you have landed yourself in a soup, you could choose to drink it! However, it would be much smarter to just get out and dry yourself. Quit the game and start another one. We are unable to detach ourselves from the role of the doer who is living our life to the spectator who is simply enjoying the journey.
Sometimes, however, you realise only by sticking to the fight how close you were to the Crown ! Tenacity and perseverence is just as necessary for life as it for the games.
As Kenny Rogers has said so beautifully in his song- Gambler
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.
Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.So... go ahead and find the wisdom to know when to stick to the fight and when to give it up!
Labels: Gambler, Games, Kenny Rogers, life
One of my very close friends does not play to win! She plays to unwind and destress. When asked if why she plays mindlessly, she replies," If I have to put my mind to it- why play!?"
I am different. I play to keep alert. I make the ordinary games more challenging by setting myself some targets that must be achieved at certain times along the course of the game... in a certain well planned way. If I am playing freecell, for example, I want every final column to start with the K card. I also want these columns to be single file... no column space in between or alternate column space in between or one red one bpack column etc. Just that little bit more difficult! My mind keeps thinking the best way to do it. Strategy. Execution. Challenge.
Don't you wish life could be like a computer game? Did you make a mistake? Why worry? Undo! Do you feel you took the losing track? No issues! Restart! And if you are really stuck in a situation but want to continue to play- you still have the option of 'New game!' Just change the game!
In life, however, we have to keep walking on the path we chose. We must go on and bear the consequence of our actions- good or bad- no getting away from it.
We may make a bad decision and that single bad decision will definitely keep rearing its ugly head even if we try to forget. There is as yet no Undo button in our life. The closest that one may come to an undo button is a sincere apology. No matter how close you are or how you feel everything was or was not justified... that is the only undo option you have. And yet it is not used very often and when used it is seldom meant.
When you have landed yourself in a soup, you could choose to drink it! However, it would be much smarter to just get out and dry yourself. Quit the game and start another one. We are unable to detach ourselves from the role of the doer who is living our life to the spectator who is simply enjoying the journey.
Sometimes, however, you realise only by sticking to the fight how close you were to the Crown ! Tenacity and perseverence is just as necessary for life as it for the games.
As Kenny Rogers has said so beautifully in his song- Gambler
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.
Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.So... go ahead and find the wisdom to know when to stick to the fight and when to give it up!
Labels: Gambler, Games, Kenny Rogers, life
What is your passion?
Most of us want to do 'something' in life. 'Something'. Meaningful. We all want to survive after our own death. This mamy take the form of 'path-breaking' research that makes mankind move onward in giant leaps or it may be in small everyday things that most of us do everyday in making our children see a brighter tomorrow or our colleagues live a better today or our clients have one more thing to cheer about. These may be so enmeshed in our lives as to be completely ignored!
Did you do something meaningful today? Was it a meal cooked with your heart and soul into it? Was it a mega- project that you gave up your nights and days for? Was it something earth shattering or something that you could easily overlook?
Maslow defined his hierarchy in which he placed human needs in the form of a pyramid at the bottom of which were basic needs like food and shelter. It is after these needs are met that humans start looking for love and self- worth. And at the top of the pyramid, comes self-realisation. Till you are rich, money is important. It ceases to matter once you have it in your pocket. What if it ceases to matter even before that? What if we could pre-empt the feeling that comes with the achievement of of each Maslow destination?
Were someone to ask me who won the Nobel peace prize this year, I would have to think and even then, would be able to answer only after having looked it up. Ask me, however, which of my high school teachers had the most impact on me and i could not only name him but describe him so well that you could paint a portrait of him!
Will my office remember me were I to depart from this world? Who would be truly affected by my absence? My children and my family. Me? I am passionate about these people in my life. If I were to make a mission statement for myself it would read something like this- My mission in life is to encourage my children to do what they can I want to give them wings to soar and deep roots to stay connected.
Do we take the time to examine what really is it that is important in our life? Do we live our priorities every day? Steven R Covey says," It is easy to say No when you have a deeper Yes burning inside you." Well, I have a deep Yes burning inside me. I am able to say No to frivolous social gatherings because I want to be with me family. I can say No to that dinner party because I value my childrern's time and togetherness.
One of our colleagues lost his teen-aged daughter tragically to Dengue fever a couple of years ago. Will his life ever be the same? His sorrow and his disbelief stay with me even today. I could not believe it when I heard of it. I felt that sorrow. I lived it in those few hours that we spent in their home mourning the loss of a young talented and bright life.
Man runs after that elusive entity that he cannot identify and realises too late that life has passed him by.What is he running after? What will he do if he catches it? I do not want to live like that. I want to live such that each day is a reflection of my deeply held values and is in tune with my deeply burning Yes.
Life goes on. It must. We can only hope for it being worthwhile in the choices we make. We can only live fully if we live passionatetly.
Did you do something meaningful today? Was it a meal cooked with your heart and soul into it? Was it a mega- project that you gave up your nights and days for? Was it something earth shattering or something that you could easily overlook?
Maslow defined his hierarchy in which he placed human needs in the form of a pyramid at the bottom of which were basic needs like food and shelter. It is after these needs are met that humans start looking for love and self- worth. And at the top of the pyramid, comes self-realisation. Till you are rich, money is important. It ceases to matter once you have it in your pocket. What if it ceases to matter even before that? What if we could pre-empt the feeling that comes with the achievement of of each Maslow destination?
Were someone to ask me who won the Nobel peace prize this year, I would have to think and even then, would be able to answer only after having looked it up. Ask me, however, which of my high school teachers had the most impact on me and i could not only name him but describe him so well that you could paint a portrait of him!
Will my office remember me were I to depart from this world? Who would be truly affected by my absence? My children and my family. Me? I am passionate about these people in my life. If I were to make a mission statement for myself it would read something like this- My mission in life is to encourage my children to do what they can I want to give them wings to soar and deep roots to stay connected.
Do we take the time to examine what really is it that is important in our life? Do we live our priorities every day? Steven R Covey says," It is easy to say No when you have a deeper Yes burning inside you." Well, I have a deep Yes burning inside me. I am able to say No to frivolous social gatherings because I want to be with me family. I can say No to that dinner party because I value my childrern's time and togetherness.
One of our colleagues lost his teen-aged daughter tragically to Dengue fever a couple of years ago. Will his life ever be the same? His sorrow and his disbelief stay with me even today. I could not believe it when I heard of it. I felt that sorrow. I lived it in those few hours that we spent in their home mourning the loss of a young talented and bright life.
Man runs after that elusive entity that he cannot identify and realises too late that life has passed him by.What is he running after? What will he do if he catches it? I do not want to live like that. I want to live such that each day is a reflection of my deeply held values and is in tune with my deeply burning Yes.
Life goes on. It must. We can only hope for it being worthwhile in the choices we make. We can only live fully if we live passionatetly.
Cricket Fever
I happened to go to a busy and happening market today. Today was also the day that the Final was being played between Australia and India. The triseries in Australia. Earlier it used to India Pakistan that used to elicit this kind of response... war... battle cry and battle lines drawn. If-you-are-their-friend-you-are-our-enemy- kind of sentiment. Now it seems as if Australia has taken the spot.
The market was quite empty of the cars that usually make it difficult to drive through or park. A few shops that had televisions were switched to the sports channel. I saw the scene that I had not seen for a long, long time! Crowds at the shop windows, watching the match, standing on the pavements- cheering each hit and each wicket. Each miss brought a collective sigh and an indrawn breath as if the crowd was a single giant not a collection of several people. Had there been a means to monitor, probably the heart beats of the individuals making up this mob would also be synchronised!
Cricket between the two nations in the past few months has been a far cry from gentlemanly game that it started off as. It has been mired in controversy. It has had its share of name calling and mud slinging. It was not just fun on or off the field where a group pf people competed with another group of people and either won or lost. It has been like a war where if one team did not win, it risked much more than life itself!
As a nation that had been under the British Rule for centuries, we have had enough experience of being at the recieving end of Racial discrimination. "Dogs and Indians not allowed" was not a comic strip; it was a real sign put up outside real public places. In our own country. We were not allowed inside public places. Our own public spots! Mostly people conformed. Some revolted. Some resisted peacefully. Each had a role in how our struggle for Independence matured and how British who came to trade and stayed to rule were finally driven out of our country.
Given our cultural and religious ethos, we have been a race that has, generally, taken all it was given with fortitude and tolerated a lot that would have riled many others. It was considered a virtue to tolerate rather than retaliate. Srishant's body language and facial expressions belied that ancestry. It was a refreshing change! If we could take with fortitude we should be able to dish out with impunity! Whites are whites merely due to absence of a certain pigment to colour their skin a darker shade. It does not change the way their heart beats nor the chemicals that drive the reactions in their brain. They digest their food by the same chemical reactions, using the same enzymes and assimilate the same aminoacids that we do. What makes the aparthied a historical fact that was ok and reverse aparthied a crime? Infact, we as a nation, have come a long way in less than a century of independence. We are a global software power to contend with. We drive the global markets significantly. We have even had a locally grown and brewed coffee chain resist a mega take-over by a global coffee giant- none other than Starbucks! Cafe Coffee Day ( God Bless Them!) replied, "We are not for sale. You are most welcome to set up shop here and we will take you on!"
Amid all this hulla gulla- it is no surprise that Australians try any means- sportsman-like or not- to rlie Indians. It is equally reassuring to see the Indians not buckling under the pressure and replying in the same language!
This attitude is what is defining today's youth. Of India that can stand and fight and chase and rise. Glory is ours to take... we are ready to take it.
The market was quite empty of the cars that usually make it difficult to drive through or park. A few shops that had televisions were switched to the sports channel. I saw the scene that I had not seen for a long, long time! Crowds at the shop windows, watching the match, standing on the pavements- cheering each hit and each wicket. Each miss brought a collective sigh and an indrawn breath as if the crowd was a single giant not a collection of several people. Had there been a means to monitor, probably the heart beats of the individuals making up this mob would also be synchronised!
Cricket between the two nations in the past few months has been a far cry from gentlemanly game that it started off as. It has been mired in controversy. It has had its share of name calling and mud slinging. It was not just fun on or off the field where a group pf people competed with another group of people and either won or lost. It has been like a war where if one team did not win, it risked much more than life itself!
As a nation that had been under the British Rule for centuries, we have had enough experience of being at the recieving end of Racial discrimination. "Dogs and Indians not allowed" was not a comic strip; it was a real sign put up outside real public places. In our own country. We were not allowed inside public places. Our own public spots! Mostly people conformed. Some revolted. Some resisted peacefully. Each had a role in how our struggle for Independence matured and how British who came to trade and stayed to rule were finally driven out of our country.
Given our cultural and religious ethos, we have been a race that has, generally, taken all it was given with fortitude and tolerated a lot that would have riled many others. It was considered a virtue to tolerate rather than retaliate. Srishant's body language and facial expressions belied that ancestry. It was a refreshing change! If we could take with fortitude we should be able to dish out with impunity! Whites are whites merely due to absence of a certain pigment to colour their skin a darker shade. It does not change the way their heart beats nor the chemicals that drive the reactions in their brain. They digest their food by the same chemical reactions, using the same enzymes and assimilate the same aminoacids that we do. What makes the aparthied a historical fact that was ok and reverse aparthied a crime? Infact, we as a nation, have come a long way in less than a century of independence. We are a global software power to contend with. We drive the global markets significantly. We have even had a locally grown and brewed coffee chain resist a mega take-over by a global coffee giant- none other than Starbucks! Cafe Coffee Day ( God Bless Them!) replied, "We are not for sale. You are most welcome to set up shop here and we will take you on!"
Amid all this hulla gulla- it is no surprise that Australians try any means- sportsman-like or not- to rlie Indians. It is equally reassuring to see the Indians not buckling under the pressure and replying in the same language!
This attitude is what is defining today's youth. Of India that can stand and fight and chase and rise. Glory is ours to take... we are ready to take it.
Remember Markownikoff's Rule?
Studying organic chemistry at high school level, one cannot go to the next level without knowing and applying the Markownikoff's Rule. This rule states quite explicitly that in asymmetric reactions of alkenes with a hydrogen halide, the hydrogen attaches to the carbon that already has more. In other words- Rich gets richer. Poor get poorer. Them that has, get more of it!
Does it sound familiar?
Everyday life illustrates Markownikoff's Rule to the fullest!
Ambanis are getting richer. Farmers in AP are getting poorer.
When some one is good at anything, he does more of it- and gets better at it- and ends up doing even more of it! Rich getting richer. When someone is not good at something, they avoid doing it- making them worse and even more unable to do it. Poor getting poorer.
Interestingly, the Rule does have exceptions. These exceptions, too are axiomatic of natural laws! Anti- Markownikoff additions may occur in extremes of conditions, exemplified by very high temperatures. So in extreme situations, a poor, unlucky fellow may feel irritated enough to get up and make a difference- getting rich in the process.
Famous scientists state," The Rule is wonderful in its simplicity and predictability. It works irrespective of the kind of addition- ionic or molecular."
Natural Laws. Axiomatic. Their proof is all around us. It is in the happening of an event and in the non- happening of it. In riches and wealth, in prosperity and health, in luck and fortune, in skill and expertise. Everywhere you look, you will find Markownikoff's Rule in action!
Does it sound familiar?
Everyday life illustrates Markownikoff's Rule to the fullest!
Ambanis are getting richer. Farmers in AP are getting poorer.
When some one is good at anything, he does more of it- and gets better at it- and ends up doing even more of it! Rich getting richer. When someone is not good at something, they avoid doing it- making them worse and even more unable to do it. Poor getting poorer.
Interestingly, the Rule does have exceptions. These exceptions, too are axiomatic of natural laws! Anti- Markownikoff additions may occur in extremes of conditions, exemplified by very high temperatures. So in extreme situations, a poor, unlucky fellow may feel irritated enough to get up and make a difference- getting rich in the process.
Famous scientists state," The Rule is wonderful in its simplicity and predictability. It works irrespective of the kind of addition- ionic or molecular."
Natural Laws. Axiomatic. Their proof is all around us. It is in the happening of an event and in the non- happening of it. In riches and wealth, in prosperity and health, in luck and fortune, in skill and expertise. Everywhere you look, you will find Markownikoff's Rule in action!
Lessons for life.
I have no means to check the authenticity of the claim but the story that follows is attributed to LK Advani as a lesson he gave to young aspirants into the political arena. What makes it worth remembering is how well it applies to life in general and how wonderfully it illustrates the point of how to live- and survive!
So here goes... Mr Advani started the usual way... " Once upon a time..." It appeared this was going to be yet another one of those speeches that one hears but does not listen and easily forgets. But this could not be farther from the truth!
He went on.
" ... in a snow bound land, there was a bird. It had snowed heavily in the night. The land was freezing, the lake had frozen over. But the bird needed to eat. So she set out. Soon, she realised that she had made a serious mistake. The cold was penetrating into the tiny delicate bones. She sat on a branch to rest as she could not go on. Within momemts, the bird had frozen solid! Still alive, but rapidly slipping towards death, the bird prayed with all her might.
God answered the prayer. A bull came sauntering by. This bull was relieving himself and the shit fell on the frozen bird. The heat thawed the bird and she started twittering. The bull could not be bothererd! He moved on.
Next came a fox. In this frozen land, food was scarce for the fox. She was desperate. She heard the chirping of a bird and started localising the sound. To her surprise she found that the sound was emanating from a pile of shit. Wel... she was ravenously hungry. She investigated and found the bird. She picked her up, cleaned her and ate her up!"
Now, Mr Advani paused. The silence was filled with heavily baited breaths. All were waiting for the next words.
Advani ji continued," So, what do you understand from this story?" None of those present could make out. They were all young and inexperienced. "No one?"
He, then, proceeded to expound on the meaning of the story. " The first thing you must learn from this story is that when the weather is inclement, you should not venture out! The bird would not have got into any trouble if she had stayed in during the freezing cold!
Next, Everyone that dirties you or sullies you is not necessarily your enemy. The bull defeacated on the bird, making her dirty. He, however, provided the vital heat that could revive the bird.
As important is it to remember that everyone who cleans you up may not necessarily be your well wisher! The fox cleaned up the bird- only to eat her up!
All of the above are obvious to any casual observer. The most important lesson to be learnt from this story, however, is that... when in deep shit- donot make a noise and advertise it!"
This story made a deep impact on me when I first read it. It is not just about politics... but also about life in general.
In life we often venture out in unfavourable circumstances without being prepared for them. Though it is true that there would be no gains without taking risks, it is foolish to rush headlong without a thought to consequences.
There are times when we feel insulted and 'dirtied' by people we encounter in life. Without realising that these individuals may actually be saving our lives by alerting us to fatal flaws, we feel slighted and decide to distance ourselves from them. Rather they are the ones we should be actively seeking out as they will be instrumental in our growth.
Those who are nice and sugary with us are often the ones we like to associate with. These people may really be planning our end.
And ofcourse! Why can we not keep our mouth shut when in trouble rather than invite attention to our misfortune.
So here goes... Mr Advani started the usual way... " Once upon a time..." It appeared this was going to be yet another one of those speeches that one hears but does not listen and easily forgets. But this could not be farther from the truth!
He went on.
" ... in a snow bound land, there was a bird. It had snowed heavily in the night. The land was freezing, the lake had frozen over. But the bird needed to eat. So she set out. Soon, she realised that she had made a serious mistake. The cold was penetrating into the tiny delicate bones. She sat on a branch to rest as she could not go on. Within momemts, the bird had frozen solid! Still alive, but rapidly slipping towards death, the bird prayed with all her might.
God answered the prayer. A bull came sauntering by. This bull was relieving himself and the shit fell on the frozen bird. The heat thawed the bird and she started twittering. The bull could not be bothererd! He moved on.
Next came a fox. In this frozen land, food was scarce for the fox. She was desperate. She heard the chirping of a bird and started localising the sound. To her surprise she found that the sound was emanating from a pile of shit. Wel... she was ravenously hungry. She investigated and found the bird. She picked her up, cleaned her and ate her up!"
Now, Mr Advani paused. The silence was filled with heavily baited breaths. All were waiting for the next words.
Advani ji continued," So, what do you understand from this story?" None of those present could make out. They were all young and inexperienced. "No one?"
He, then, proceeded to expound on the meaning of the story. " The first thing you must learn from this story is that when the weather is inclement, you should not venture out! The bird would not have got into any trouble if she had stayed in during the freezing cold!
Next, Everyone that dirties you or sullies you is not necessarily your enemy. The bull defeacated on the bird, making her dirty. He, however, provided the vital heat that could revive the bird.
As important is it to remember that everyone who cleans you up may not necessarily be your well wisher! The fox cleaned up the bird- only to eat her up!
All of the above are obvious to any casual observer. The most important lesson to be learnt from this story, however, is that... when in deep shit- donot make a noise and advertise it!"
This story made a deep impact on me when I first read it. It is not just about politics... but also about life in general.
In life we often venture out in unfavourable circumstances without being prepared for them. Though it is true that there would be no gains without taking risks, it is foolish to rush headlong without a thought to consequences.
There are times when we feel insulted and 'dirtied' by people we encounter in life. Without realising that these individuals may actually be saving our lives by alerting us to fatal flaws, we feel slighted and decide to distance ourselves from them. Rather they are the ones we should be actively seeking out as they will be instrumental in our growth.
Those who are nice and sugary with us are often the ones we like to associate with. These people may really be planning our end.
And ofcourse! Why can we not keep our mouth shut when in trouble rather than invite attention to our misfortune.
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